Surprise of Love!

After production at ECFD, my gals date me for a dinner at the restaurant opposite ECFD for a birthday dinner with me n yean ching.

Bee Sean, Ching, Doreen, Jocelyn, Esther, Judy, Se Wei, Jessica were there...
i heard that Li Shun forgot!!! hahah.... and of course Edwina went back and Rachel cant make it.

we had dinner and also a time of sharing - they ask me questions and i answer.
I really like this kind of dinners because everyone is not in a hurry, they were there because they wanted to be there and everyone openly share bits and thoughts, relax and real-fellowshipping.
i'm glad they did it. although i was tired physically and was really not well but time flies without me noticing it because it was good time!

but the other best gift was this book that they collected words from many ppl about me or to encourage me. i was really touched and as i read each of those message, i realise this... i am loved - whether i used to believe it or not, i am loved. yean ching got one that's words to her too but then since i'm biased, i'm going to say that my book is nicer! =)

a big thank you to all of you who took time to wrote to me and share life with me.
my life is worth celebrating because there are friends, families and partners like you.

Here's some of the pages... too many that i can't capture all. i think it took them about 7 hours to do and all the 'creative scribbles' within are Max's doing!
i'm sorry the pictures are not clear - i shot with my phone...

change the world!

will THIS generation rise up to change the world?
i'm challenging YOU!

celebrations...

the month of December is all celebrations for my schedule... here are some of them...

1. ok... this is not very much december but november as my pretty god-daughter is born... Isabelle Lee Jia Yee! Ain't she most adorable? hehe... that's JuJu, the sister that very very very sayang me over the years... even during those years i was at my worst behaviors, she stuck with me. she's a treasure in my life journey.

2. this was on the first week of december (dec 2) - Kean Lin's wedding! at Sunway Lagoon Resort Hotel Grand Ballroom. There were like a hundred tables of so?? i met a lot of primates!! catch up here and there but also strange to see them after such a long time... but i miss the friendship. oh, and yah, everyone is telling me when they are getting married next year... ahhaha...
ok. one comment on the wedding couple - above all the lavishness of the ceremony and all the funny videos and all, one thing i felt i caught a glimpse of was this - that Kean Lin really love his bride. that was what i really could see at the wedding and i was glad i went to celebrate with them! the love in the air was more evident to me than the food and the ceremony.

this is Karen, my long lost friend since primary school. she's now running a music school in klang.
3. second weekend in december - dec 7 - my dearest ex-housemate's wedding!! this time, it was at tropicana.
that's her husband, Alex and they are leaving to reside in Singapore so i wont be seeing her often anymore liow. though i don't know him at all but he seems like a nice guy - anyone that yan peng choose would most probably be a good guy! hehhee... here's to you - CONGRATULATIONS!

4. third week of december - dec 16 - this is my cousin's wedding. my mom's sister's eldest son. err.... sorry didnt get a shot with the couple because they were super busy as they were like the one that was running the wedding without a wedding coordinator. my job for the nite was to collect ang pau and count it! hehehe...
the first pic is my 3rd aunt - her son getting married.
second pic - my eldest aunt - i always remember her cos she took good care of me
third pic - the groom's younger brother - erm... what can i say about him - he's desperate for a wife - anyone interested? he's a good man, responsible, loves his family, always learn new things to improve his skill and have a steady income! i can set a date up if you'd like.
last pic - this is the best shot i can get with my phone of the couple - errr... the mc, though funny but my line was drawn when he took off his shirt, jumped onto the chair and started shaking all his fats... ewww.....
not last but the 4th week of december - Dec 18 - MY Birthday... which i graciously share it with my sister - Yean Ching! =)

not to brag but this birthday i received FOUR dresses as presents... among other things.. ahhaha... the one i was wearing in the picture was a present from YC herself. the one she was wearing, she bought for herself. the card she wrote made me cried... though no surprise, nothing special happened but this day let me know that "I AM BLESSED" and "I AM LOVED". There were many sms, presents and wishes and prayers for me. people called from the States, Indonesia, from across the south china sea and of course this side of town, celebrating my birthday with me. i'm not special but because i'm loved, you guys made me special. thank you. thank you. thank you. that's why i actually gave gifts to some of the ppl that had shared life with me. birthday is not just receiving but also about giving to those who'd loved us.

we celebrated in the office at 5pm. Although many remain quiet and did not say anything, but Pastor shared and thanked me for serving together - that short speech brought tears to my eyes. thank you pastor! you are indeed a BIG WORD in my life. the past six years of serving had been an honor and a chance i won't have missed. you're the best boss ever. and although i really wanna leave in 2009 but because you ask me to stay, i will seriously reconsider and put it to prayer n fasting before God - because i wanna honor you and i believe that God can open a great n effective door at any place wherever i am - whether in the industry or not!
my birthday end with a scrumptious meal from Doreen, dance practice, being painted thick ici on face, shooting my testimony, go home and work late! hahaha....

This year, for those people who actually asked me what i want, and i dare to tell them, i told them to invest into my dream by sponsoring me to one production next year. don't need to pay for the full concert ticket, just sponsor me some so that at least it's not so heavy. i love to go to see the concert productions - not all the time i learn something but this is the closest i can get to being exposed to the industry... =)

well, that's not the end of december yet! next week would be christmas day! i love christmas because it's a season of joy and remembering God's goodness! then after that would be the end of the year - a lot of wrap up lunches and dinners! what a fruitful december! how was yours??

where is love....?

i recently heard a new song that's been ringing in my head...
(err... tried my best to translate from mandarin to english here)
tell me where is love
i've searched up and down (east n west)
where is love
it's been mysterious
where is love
if you see love
please tell love
that i'm still here

i've been humming the song sometimes in my head sometimes out loud...

i don't know how to say it easier, but if you are also looking for love, this christmas come here.
where love dwells, where ppl learn to love sincerely,
where i've personally discovered it myself.
if u visit us, u'll hear my story plus many others who'd also discovered for themselves.
(checkout the invite below)

i've seen so many ppl searching for love, craving for it, sacrificing themselves for it... sometimes in vain, sometimes losing hope in their search, sometimes end up in hurts and wounds, crushed....

I WANT TO SHOUT OUT TO THE WHOLE WORLD, SCREAMING AT YOU THAT LOVE IS IN GOD!!! ONLY IN HIM YOU CAN FIND THE KIND OF PERFECT LOVE - NEVER IN HUMAN... cos we are just human. first find love in God then you'll discover love all around...

I WANT TO SHOUT OUT TO YOU....... 爱在这里

Conversations with Cathryn.

One moment she was expecting to hold her newborn adopted baby in her arms. The next moment, her baby’s life hangs in the balance.

A young man suffered years of shattered relationship with his father. He never thought he would ever speak to him again.

One man faced depression that threatened to destroy his life…

3 real life stories. 3 bleak situations.

Find out how the amazing gift they received turned their lives around.

All these in “The Gift” on Conversations with Cathryn.

I’ve attached an Admission Pass for you to attend the live studio recording of this talk show.

*you might even get to hear my story... =)

See you there and Merry Christmas!

CSI vs see the real 'i'

Yesterday, as me, doreen, yc, jocelyn was waiting for the rest of my gals to arrive for discipleship, we started talking about some of the CSI episodes that we’d watched and I shared about 2 episode that left a deep effect on me…

I told them, one of it was the episode where there was this doctor that his practicing license was retracted because of some malpractice during his days in the army. He was posted to some ‘faraway’ land and started to experiment on a old traditional kind of way to medically ‘lock’ a person’s physique but yet the person is still alive. Unlike in a coma, this person is awake - can open eyes and is alive and breathing, can hear and can see - just cant move at all because the body is ‘locked’ through his little irreversible operation...

It was not a grossed out, bloody and cruel, violent episode… but it just dawned on me now as I’m writing my testimony at secret recipe… why it left such a deep impression in my mind – it’s because it’s like a reality that scares me a lot. It creeps up to remind me...

I realized that it’s how I felt during my pre-christ day… during my growing up years.

Growing up in insecurity, unstable family, fears and rejection, I felt trapped. I always feel trapped with my emotions and cant act at all and forced to conform to this life-less life of mine. This caused me to want to run away. Always run away instead of facing any of it. I ran from any uncomfortable positions, from relationships, from confrontations, ran from home, ran from kat, ran from leading…

but being trapped is like even if my mind and every part within me say to run, to leave, but physically, I somehow cant. Like the girl in the CSI episode, I can feel how she can only lie there on the bed, very awake, looking at the ceiling, her mind is so alert thinking of her past, her current, her unfulfilled dreams, her wanting to just die, hearing the people around her yet cant react at all because she’s just numbed… the realism of the episode was disturbingly frightening to me.

But then that was like I said, my pre-christ days. It’s God digging out my skeleton in the cupboard instead of letting me hide it unconsciously - confront it and deal with it instead of running again. This past week, I was constantly praying for what to say in my testimony during this year’s Christmas. I racked my mind, I prayed, I stared at my (XPS) computer screen till I actually fell asleep but nothing came – no dreams too. I kept asking God for the perspective he wanna say from my life that he’d changed. And hence, without realizing it yesterday, God was leading me towards this.

This Christmas, I would be sharing my story so that other people who are trapped in hopeless will see a light in their way out… this is like a raw pre-lim draft only… dunno how to connect to the ‘who am I’ dance yet… hahaha…

To some people, their past creeps up to haunt them digging a grave in their emotions for their faith.

To me, each time my past creeps up wanting to remind me how ‘bad’ I used to be, ‘wanting to’ but somehow God also show up together to reveal how he is good to me through it, stablising my faith, making me stronger instead.

How do you deal with ur past? Your emotions? Condemnation? Emotional roller coaster? Faith-dive? Draw away from everyone? Offended with anyone that dare to come within 1meter of your presences? Enter into your ‘emo-pity-party’?

Your past reminds you of how not-good-enough you are or it reminds you of how good God is to you? =)

Allow God to change how you view life. Not through a pair of eyes that are trapped in a body but through a pair of eyes that in Him – he’d set them free from all bondage.

Thanks for sharing life with this ‘christian-in-construction’ me.

angpau from singapore

i'm so happy.
Teresa came with this for me. she say the person wants to remain anonymous and she's not suppose to tell me who it is. but from the neat handwriting, she's a 'she'!!
and it must also be someone that read my blog to know about this. hahha...

i'm happy that i got blessing but more than that, i'm happy because it's an assurance from God that He's providing for me to dream on.
recently, i was praying and asking God if He's wanting me to be in this ministry then why i don't see any open doors in relates to this area? i was contending with god and then this angpau came as an answer to my prayer for open door! see how miraculous God is?!
whoever you are, THANK YOU VERY MUCH for being God's extension in my life.

Luke 19: Choose to walk in as a Guest and not as food for Lions!

1Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. 3He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. 4So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

5When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." 6So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

7All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a 'sinner.' "

8But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."

9Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

Steven used this passage during worship leading this morning. As i listen, God prompted me something else..
many times in the past couple of years, as i thought about leaving the church office to work in the entertainment industry, i always feel like i'm walking into lion's den. i need to be prepared for it. i need to have my guards up, i need to be prepared for hardship or to be wallup by the merciless lions...
but as Steven shared this morning, the Holy Spirit dropped into my heart to correct me.
not all the time it would be lion's den. it could be like Jesus - a special guest among the 'lions' it depend on whether i see them as lions or as friends.
wow... this really broke my wrong perspective and caused me to admit that without me realising, i was taking the 'world' as lions and if i do tat, i wont be able to reach them because my perspective of them is totally messed up.
wow.. this revelation changed my mind! hehe... thanks, PASTOR Steven! you're the star!!

chong bai

when i first heard this song and saw the mv, i was very excited because i thot that she's singing a 'worship' song as her new album. i was so happy to see someone using the mainstream influence to wanting to make a difference and making it a hit song... since 'chong bai' is quite a christian lingo..

but I checked the lyrics. i dun think it’s a Christian song anymore.

If sing for God, I think she means leaving God. But if sing for man (human relationship) means leaving the person and exist for herself and not for ‘him’ – sigh… I was so happy and thot she’s making a difference but in the song she say ‘she tot can be different from others but not possible..’

do you know how sad i am now? as i listen to the song, tears started to well up within me because of the heart-wrenching words as though singing about leaving God...

in my reality, i can only exist in God. without Him, i don't have the courage to wake up in the morning, nor the grace to move in my day... 我存在祢的存在里

-----Lyrics/歌詞-----
作詞/Lyricist：陳沒
作曲/Composer：彭學斌

# 你的姿態 你的青睞 我存在在你的存在
ni de zi tai ni de qing lai wo cun zai ni de cun zai
Your attitude, your good graces, I existed in your being
你以為愛 就是被愛 你揮霍了我的崇拜 #
ni yi wei ai jiu shi bei ai ni hui huo le wo de chong bai
You thought love meant being loved, you squandered away my adoration for you

我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
wo huo le wo ai le wo dou bu guan le
I've lived, I've loved, but now I don't care
心愛到瘋了 恨到酸了就好了
xin ai dao feng le hen dao suan le jiu hao le
Loving til your heart's gone crazy and hating til your heart's gone sour, that's enough
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
ke neng de ke yi de zhen de ke xi le
Possibilities, opportunities - It's sad they no longer exist
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢？
xing fu hao bu rong yi zen me ni que bu gan le ne
It's really not easy to attain happiness, but still, why don't you have the courage to try?

我還以為我們能 不同於別人
wo hai yi wei wo men neng bu tong yu bie ren
I even thought that we could be different from other people
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能
wo hai yi wei bu ke neng de bu hui bu ke neng
I even thought the impossible could not be impossible (i.e. that the impossible was possible)

REPEAT ALL OF ABOVE + #

風箏有風 海豚有海
feng zheng you geng hai dun you hai
Kites have the wind, dolphins have the sea
我存在在我的存在
wo cun zai zai wo de cun zai
I exist for myself
所以明白 所以離開
suo yi ming bai suo yi li kai
so I can understand, so I can leave (you)
所以不再為愛而愛
Suo yi bu zai wei ai er ai
so I no longer love because of love

自己存在 在你之外
Zi ji cun zai zai ni zi wai
I'll live alone, apart from you

APEC 2008 is brought to you by ENKL!

my koko's wedding

This is my cousin brother but since we stay together since birth,
i call him tailo and his twin brother, yilo... ehhe...

last weekend was tailo's wedding with his newly-wed wife, Mindy!
So i skipped sunday church and went to my aunty's house whole day. everyone was so happy...
this is the tea ceremony at my aunty's house. the ones sitting down are their parents (my aunt n uncle) and this was also the house i stayed in from standard 2 till i was in form 3....
family-clan photo.... my father side family members. all are close to me. they each made a difference in my life. i'll tell you the story when it's MY wedding day! hahaha...

9. THE REENGINEERING LEADERSHIP STYLE

Taken from "Courageous Leadership" by Bill Hybels.


Reengineering leaders are at their best in turn-around environments. These leaders are gifted by God to thrive on the challenge of taking a troubled situation - a team that has lost its vision, a ministry where people are in wrong positions, a department trying to move forward without a strategy - and turning it around.

This leader says, "This is my lucky day. I get to start reengineering this mess."

These leaders enthusiastically dig in to uncover the original mission and cause of the mission drift. They reevaluate personnel, strategy and values. The repeatedly meet with team members to help them figure out where the "old" went wrong and what the "new" should look like. then they prod members on to action.

Reengineering leaders love to patch up, tune up, and revitalise hurting departments or organisations. But when everything is back on track and operating smoothly, these leaders may or may not be motivated to stay engaged. Some of them are content to stick arund and enjoy the fruits of their labors, but many prefer to find another department or organization that needs to be overhauled. When they find one they start salivating. "Would you look at that kingdom train wreck?" they say. "If I could get my hands on all that twisted metal, I know I could turn it into something great for God."

I believe that God has placed reengineering leaders in every church. It's your job and mine to find them and put them to work.

Every time i read this, my body starts to react! This is exactly how i feel! even now, taking over YOF, once i've set the flow, the structure, i've no patience to maintain it. losing excitement and getting into a 'mode'... this is a flaw to the style. hahah... but this is me!
ooo... even now, my goosebumps are coming... as though agreeing with me... oh yeah! hahah...

G4G Performance

On Oct 13, 1a.m. performed at the G4G conference night concert for the churches.
How was it?
i like it.
i like it that we were different. we told a message to them and didnt just do a dance.
i even felt like we smack right to the 'red button' of the people that were there! hahaha...

i was touched that Ina came and support us.
i was touched that the Kaans came with all the kids to support us.
i was touched that even audrey and parents came!
i was so blessed that night.

But, we all should want only healthy relationships.

Before I start, why don’t we watch a video… I’m sure you know this movie…

Movie: What girls do when they fall in love…

One of the biggest changes in emotions is in our feelings to the opposite sex. You will come to a time in your life that you are attracted to the guys and you want to look good in front of them.

You want a relationship and that’s normal. But, we all should want only healthy relationships.

You’ve watched Princess Diaries, she’s also having this ‘feelings’ to the boy, thinking about him and wanting to be with him… but we all seen the ending that the boy only wanted to use her and you saw how sad she was later on…

So, how to handle emotions and relate healthily with the opposite sex?

• Every guy wants to find his beauty; every girl wants to be that beauty
• Every guy seeks out adventure; every girl wants to be swept up in that adventure
• Both hearts cry out for intimacy (=closer friendship)
• But, the danger is if we don’t understand ourselves and don’t understand what relationships are for, then we will end up in unhealthy relationships because we end up looking for beauty, intimacy or even adventure in all the wrong places.
  

So, it’s important to start right. The place to start is in yourself. First, learn to love and appreciate yourself then you will be able to learn to love others…

• How you feel, think and react is different (it’s ok, don’t need to compare)
• QUESTION: So, tell me what is one thing you like about yourself?

• Since you are so unique and today is your special day, I must celebrate with you. This is to tell you that you are pretty like the ROSES…

• You can choose to live your life to the best you can and maximize your potential and capabilities
• Now, I say live your life to your best potential but I don’t mean in a wild way and with not control or behind your parents back – that’s not living to your best potential – that’s call risky lifestyle and even dangerous.
• You may think parents are putting boundaries on you but it’s good for you. Everything needs to have boundary to be good for them. To take sweets around, you need a box to put them in it. Can you imagine if there are NO boundaries? What would others do to you? What would you do to others?? Hmm… there needs to be boundary!
• It’s how you see it and how you make to be. If you think a box of sweets is plain, it’s mar plain lor – but if you make it CUTE, then it’s cute lor!
  

• You are like a rose that’s blooming. As the rose bloom, it faces changes too, they learn to open up their petals.
  

• But blooming time is not forever. It’s only for a season. For a rose, it could be a few days to a week, but for you, it would be the next 10 years or so, but time does flies. When I was 13, I also thought I still have a long time coming but so fast, now I’m 27! It’s still my best time because I make the most of it. But don’t waste your best time in life.
  

• But often times we make wrong decisions because we wanted to try out…
• If I were to say that gals are like roses and a blooming one, then I would say risky lifestyle is like this (peel off the rose)
• Every time we are involved in risky lifestyle or unhealthy relationships, we are actually giving parts of ourselves away.
• What are risky behaviors? Like not eat at all for diet, puking food that you’d ate, cutting ourselves, or even in unhealthy relationships like pre-marital sex. (peeling off)
• Sex is not just a physical intimacy with another person but that which involves your whole person which is your emotions, mental and all in.
• Each time we give ourselves away – whether emotionally or physically – instead of blooming like a rose, without us knowing it, we are actually ruining it.
• Look, after a few times, it still look ok right? Still quite pretty like a rose… still nobody knows it’s being peeled off.
• But if we continue on like this, do you think there would still be a pretty rose left? (keep peeling).
  

• One of the biggest reasons that made gals involve in unhealthy relationships is in storybooks… especially romance story books…
• As you read, you imagine yourself as the heroine, the one that the hero, the man that every woman wants, but he only wants you, and he come and sweep you off your feet into an adventure, and you fall heads over heels in love with him… and live happily ever after… (sigh)!
• You just read only mar… you didn’t do it… so you’re still safe from risky lifestyle… right?
• But then, you do it in your mind! The more you read, the more you fantasize to be heroine and the more you fantasize, the more you want to find your hero in your life… that’s when you take risk in unhealthy relationships because you want to start on your adventure! But it might not be the right person or the right time or the right adventure – just like princess diaries.
  

• Today, I want to tell you that you cannot give sex to get love. Sex is not a game. It’s an intimate act that requires maturity (which you are only began to discover, so not counted) and commitment of marriage. Without the boundary of marriage, you are trying to take sweets without the box – you either ruin the sweet, make it dirty or drop it, you wont be able to keep it for long.
• Not to mention pre-marital sex has consequences – like pregnancy and diseases. And 90% of these diseases are incurable. Do you like being sick? Can you imagine being sick all life long? Can you imagine this rose with yellow dots all over? Still pretty?
  

• I can tell you don’t read those books that cause your mind to be unhealthy but I can’t force you to do it. I can’t put cctv all around you. Plus I won’t. I’m just telling it to you today about the pros and the cons, you need to learn to make your own decisions and then you will live like a rose.
• Unhealthy books can cause you to fantasize and encourage you to have intimacy at unhealthy relationships but it will not help you to bloom prettily as a rose. But the more you peel the lesser is the rose.
  

• Then, finally when you meet your MR. RIGHT, the real one that will live happily ever after with and he wants to marry you…. by then, you only have this much left to give to him. Is this your best? Or you want to keep yourself to be the best rose when you meet your hero in your life?
  

• If you want to keep yourself as the best rose, then you need to learn to put a boundary on yourself from unhealthy books, unhealthy acts, and unhealthy relationships. I hope you will choose to live as your best as the prettiest rose.
  

• The rose is in your hands now. Whether it blooms to its most beautiful time or it’s being peeled off bits by bits before it’s time, it’s how you live…

My Time Line Life Story

we did an exercise yesterday where we listed all the high times and low times in our life from day born till today. so everyone plotted the significant events in their lives... then s i reflect those times and the ppl, i cried like a baby...

what i've discovered about my timeline...

1. all the low times were related to happenings in my family
2. most of the high times were related to God
3. below primary school years, were all lowest times and high times after high school. in between that period of time, nothing significant happened in my life.. as though non-existence.
4. as i do this exercise, i realised that i have the tendency to block out unhappy events in my life. as i dig it out to plot it there, i know i'm still affected emotionally...
5. through the high times and low times, i realised that...

• God was there with me. he was telling me that he saw all those low times in my childhood and therefore he took me out of those times and put me in good times after i got saved in high school
• PC was there with me. she showed me how to love by loving me when i was bitter with life. she showed me by opening her home and giving me a shelter. she was there for me.
• Kat was there with me. though somewhere in between i was offended but she stuck with me and loved me during years where i was angry and bitter.
  

Question to ponder:
When someone else plot their life, would anyone say that YOU were there for them? Or your life legacy involves only you and not touched any other lives?

Proverbs 16
1To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.
2All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD.
3Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
4The LORD works out everything for his own ends - even the wicked for a day of disaster.
9In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
17The highway of the upright avoids evil; he who guards his way guards his life.
25There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

i by faith believing that God is my Provider, pledge.... all my food money..

ECF Damansara started by God, brought to you by Ps Shawn n team!

my version of news reading

i'm not much of a news person - i don't follow newspaper or news on tv or on radio. in fact, i switch channel every time news come on tv or radio. hehe... it's just me.
but nowadays, i read news everyday... the artiste news - online lah...
i also asked myself why do i do that?
and recently God answered me... it's for me to pray for them, doinkdoink! so what if i'm not in the industry where the who's who are? i'm not there but God is there! so i started to pray as i read the entertainment news.

yesterday, i read a news that gripped me. so i left my table and went to pray in pastor's room (he was not there)...
i read on yahoo that britney lost her 2 sons' custody to her ex-husband and now trying to appeal.
of course she lost because of the risky lifestyle in drugs, booze, partying and driving recklessly with the boys in the car.
i'm not defending her and denying all that she's doing. neither am i siding k fed that he should have the kids.
i'm not sure but i don't think BOTH of them are showing signs of being a good role model to the kids but when i read the news, i was sadden to think that the children are taken from the mother - regardless who she is, i'm sure a mother loves her kids. and to be taken from her would be a sad thing. and in this case, adding on to the hurts that she's already experiencing with her broken family, her career, dropped by her management company, so just maybe... she's hiding it all in a drunk moment...
i'm sure God's heart is saddens too to see His child now - a Christian robbed by the shining lights of fame.
*disclaimer: if u do not agree with me, i want to say that it's just my thoughts. i didnt research about it but who would rejoice over such matters..

Lord, i come before you and pray for Britney again. i pray that you would be evidently at work in her life again at this time when she needs you a lot. pick her out from the ditch and turn her around and set her on the right path again. i pray Lord, for your hands to be in control of the parenting-custody-lawsuit she's contending for. Let your will be done in each of the person's life - britney's, kevin's, sean's and jayden' - i really pray for your intervention into this family so that the children will grow up to honor you, establish your house and advance your kingdom! Lord, mercy and grace upon the family. in jesus' name i ask. amen.

Pass Age 13

You know what real love is?

just came back from the cantonese movie nite.
this time we were showing "Love is..." "真的恋爱了"

there was loss of love one,
there was unable to let go of the one who do not love us,
there was anticipation of first love,
there was unsure of how to love,
there was fear of being alone,
there was fear of not loved,
there was old love that we did not let go,
there was old love that we did not remember we loved...

the one that touched me the most is the old lady.
she cry as she hold the ashes of her husband, missing him tremendously, not feel strong enough to let him go...
she reminds me of my granny. i really misses her so much. i felt like the old lady when she went to be with the Lord a few years back. i remember i too was hugging myself in bed and crying so much cos i miss her...

when candy pointed out that her painting are feathers and she wants to tell the old lady to know how much God loves her and never leaves her.... i also almost teared...

wind had always been a reminder of God is near to me. everytime when i needed assurance, when i cry in sadness or down crushed, the wind always come to remind me God is with me.
just like how i felt, wind (in the form of feathers flying down at them) came at the end for each of them to remind them of God's love embracing them to grace them through.

although the story is simple, but i felt so ministered. i'm sure the ppl that made the movie put in a lot more than effort and skill.... they put in their prayers.

if are in any of the scenario mentioned above, you need to know that God loves you. if you can find God's love, you'll be secure in His love and not put your security in your love, your boyfriend's love, your family's love... but God's love will enable you love them instead...

on the side note, i really thanked God for media evangelism. i want to reach artistes but they have reached the artistes... some of the casts in the movie are well-known hong kong series actors and actresses. the one that amazes me is kong wah. from being the 'tong chang' in journey to west (buddhist legendary story) to now being a christian testifying about God's love... i don't know who are the ones reaching the artistes - the church there i guess - but they are already making a difference in the artistes world. what... can... i... do...??

September 21

It's PC's birthday again. Her 41st birthday.

This was the song that Elaine used to do her video showing her pictures and words that people say about how she'd inspired them in their lives.
As i listen to it again this morning at chinese service, i just felt how the words of the song were so real to me. 'imagine me without you...' these words kept ringing in my head i teared as i know the truth behind it. i would really be crashed n burnt by now if there is no PC in my life.

imagine if she'd not given me a place to stay when i took off from home...
imagine if she'd not persist to make me learn to forgive when i was offended at who told me i should forgive my dad...
imagine if she'd not shown me kindness when i felt all alone in a world of rejection...
imagine if she'd not text me all those encouragements when i felt i was going through tough times alone...
imagine if she'd not prayed for me without judging each time i share my struggles...
imagine if she'd not shown me grace with her patience when i was being rebellious...

there were so many other seeds she'd sown into my life that i don't even know where to start counting. i owed it all to you, PC!

You are God's hand in literally picking me out from the ditch and turned my life around. i am a changed life because of you...

Dear PC,

I'm forever indebted to you and will always honor you and serve you. thanks for teaching me how to love by first loving me...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaci Velasquez's Imagine Me Without You

As long as stars shine down from heaven

And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You’re the only love I’ll need

In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see

When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid

Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhile

I can’t imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Chorus

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you oh

Chorus

I can’t imagine me without you

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

anyway, here's something i did for her last year's birthday just for laffs...

To all my dear gals-2-women,

How has it been since we last met in August? Or was it July?
How has things been? How are you? How is your faith? =)

Just thought of you guys these past 2 days and felt a burden to share with you some of my thoughts… not ask you questions.. hehehe…

I’ve not heard from you except YC and Bee Sean in my office and Li Shun and Edwina email their lives’ updates to me… I’m so glad to hear from them… do email me updates in your life or just share your thoughts and such…
Carol had left us to the big apple. She’s having fun enjoying herself there. Haha… thanks for the card. It’s pretty – outside and inside…
Jess will be staying on till end of the year.
Merr has decided to stay on for a season before going away to study because she felt the peace to stay and be better equipped…

As for me, loving the house of God has really been something in my heart for a while and since pastor preached on it, it’s like being magnified. So last night prayer meeting where we sat down and talk about the house of God, I cried as I shared how I see the church is not being well-maintained and the various places not fixed. I want to do it but I dunno how to… so we each prayed for what we want to see in the house of God – more leaders raised, more intercessors, more filled… I prayed for more handy people who would helped to maintain the house of God.. hehe… this will be my blog’s next post – loving the house of God… can only do it later after I copied the pictures from my phone to my blog.

Dive In has come and went… so fast for some of you, so stretching for some of us…
This House is growing and the burden is getting heavier in each area, each department that I’m concern. Day in day out in this office, I can see how the top level leaders are so stretched and carrying more and more burden. On top of it, we have people constantly leaving. Just this month, I have 3 projectionist released and one wants to be released.

If you do see a slot, please help to fill it.
I’m looking for anyone who is interested to join and build YOF together – the 11-15yrs old generation…
I’m looking for handyman/woman who can fix doors, closers, change light bulb, do the electrical works, check the extension cords…
I’m looking for dtp artist who would like to do the point.
I’m looking for people who can consistently help me maintain the website.
There are so many gaps… just so many…

Oh, don’t forget about the…

• Divers Reunion Bash on Oct 6 – ask around for the best picture competition.
• PC's birthday is coming up this sep 21 – do honor her – her love language is any of the 5 as long as it’s thoughtful – as in you can give her words or gifts or time but as long as it’s a thoughtful time/gift for her, she will be blessed.
• Spiritual Family Class this Sunday Sep 23, 9am – for those who would like to join us – if you forgot about what it means to be part of this family, you can join too but no gift lah…. Heheh…
• Champs Meeting coming up on Sep 25 – that day is Ps Shawn’s bday too – do honor your leaders by thanking God for giving them to us!
• 1am is going to Kuhing from Sep 28 – Oct 1 – if you are there or you have friends there bring them to the concert! =)
• Sep 30 is the cantonese movie “Love is…” from 7pm-9pm. If you’ve got Cantonese speaking friends, bring them along! =)

Finally, this is one KEY: Do watch this clip. Load it all then watch from beginning till end better than watching is as it loads – it kills the impact.

When I watched it 5 mins ago, I cried towards the end.
Not because it was touching but because I know that’s what God did for me each time and that’s how struggle is sometimes… http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

So let it minister to you as this week’s discipleship from me to you…. =)

Love you,
Sharon

What’s happening at…1a.m. Dance Team

Performance : Sep 16, 6:30pm
Event : G2KU
Practice : Sats - Sep 8 & 15, 1pm-2:30pm
Song : The Anthem by 1a.m.

Performance : Sep 29, 7:30pm & Sep 30, 11:15am
Event : SNL and Sunday English Service
Practice : Sats - Sep 22 & 29, 1pm-2:30pm
Song : Break Free Production.

Fellowship with Team ViBE from Philippines

Date/Time : Oct 11, 7:30pm

Objective : Dinner, fellowship, ask questions and chat. Open to anyone. If you would like to join, please inform Sharon 012-2035510.

Who are they : ViBE is a part of the TalentsinC ministry from Every Nation Philippines. They recently won the Hip Hop Open Category Champions Team Philippines on July 15, 2007 at Shangri-la Hotel Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. They are all full-time dancers.

Dance Workshop with team ViBE! (Open to everyone)
Register with Yean Ching 03-80706797 / enquiry@ecf.org.my

Kids (Age 11-15yrs old)

Date : Oct 12^th – 3pm-4:30pm & Oct 13^th – 1pm-2:30pm
Fees : RM20 for 2 days

Adults

Date : Oct 15^th & 16^th
Time : to be confirmed – full day
Fees : RM40 per person

1a.m. Dancers with team ViBE! (For 1a.m. Dancers only)

Date : Oct 12^th Friday (Saturday practice to be announced)
Time : 7:30pm – 9pm
Register with Sharon/NaiLin.

G4G Fest & Conference (flyers attached)
Date : Oct 12-14 (Fri-Sun)
Time : 9:30am – 9:30pm (specialized dance workshops and night concerts)
Venue : Hotel Singgahsana, PJ
*If you cant make it for the daytime workshops, check out the night concerts – dance concerts like you’ve never seen before! =)

Evans Almighty

yesterday, pastor took the office ppl (about 8 of us) to Evans Almighty for a lunch movie field trip!
It was totally unexpected but FUN!

What i like about the movie...

1. YEAH! they did it! they took a bible story and made it into a movie that can be viewed in a Muslim nation! behind us sat a couple of malay as well! wow... thank God the messages the movie sent were 'rather' accurate...

2. one Act of Random Kindness at a time will change the world! nice phrase! i believe it is possible and i believe it's one step at a time, one decision at a time, one act of kindness at a time!

3. when u pray for love, does god gives you a warm fuzzy feeling? Nope! God gives you opportunities to love! same goes to praying for courage or anything... God gives you the OPPORTUNITIES to cultivate it!

4. God gave him a date - sep 22. but from here til the date, we need to work thru it faithfully and focused and make sure the job is well done in preparation for the coming of the time. reminds me of the date God gave me - 4 yrs! and each day is closing, making it nearer and nearer. am i more prepared or just procrastinating what i'm suppose to do in preparation for the 'time' that's coming? i need to work on myself!

5. what makes you think God chose you? he answered: God chose everyone of us. i believe God has a purpose and a plan for each of us. whether we walk in it or not... depends on our faith and obedience.

6. God gives us a task, he will provide the materials and help.

7. i was wondering whether how are they gonna twist the ending with the flood and rain thing because the Bible clearly stated that God will never send a flood to wipe out mankind again and the rainbow is a sign of his promise. so the dam breaking was a good twist to the ending instead of re-writing the bible!

8. i like the overall theme with the dove flying around the olive leaf. the animals came in pairs.

9. but some parts of the movie is just plain hilarious! the white hair! the robe! the way-to-obedient-children! Rita is so funny! Ark Building for Dummies!

10. sometimes, we may think God gives us weird stuffs like the robe in the movie
but if we choose to trust God and just try it on, we might just find it very comfortable and suits us
- regardless of what other ppl think of our image!

11. it's quite real and something we can identify with in our lives.
one of the scene, where Evan was like
'God, i know everything you do, u do it because you love me... but can you love me less????!'
i'm sure there were times in our lives we said that as well...
or like when he told God about his plans, God just laughed his heads off...
not trying to embarrass Evan but trying to make him see who is God in the scenario!
or the part where God send help every time Evan ask and even stuck a note there "Ask and it will be given"
just wished that he'd shown more dependency on God by asking more often...

i'm sure after this movie, everyone will remember the verse Gen 6:14!!
hhahaha... not too bad. watch it if you've got a chance.

btw, pastor suggested that all the dancers should watch the movie! haha...
i told him, "aren't you glad that the dancers don't just dance like that?" =)

i asked pc about this....
would you believe him if someone sgtarted building an ark say, in the middle of Bandar Puteri.
would you believe him? =) pc say, only if all the animals come in pairs!

one last challenge - would you built an ark if God asked you to?