recently someone said that he felt in the past year, i've been rather withdrawn and this thought was seconded by nl actualy. ahhaha... i guess it's something that's more felt than found out. have i been rather withdrawn? i think yes and no. i think i kinda give myself a one year break. was it a good thing or not? i don't think i know too but all i know was i felt i need a break from everything to put myself back together again. did i manage to do it? i also not sure. hahaha... confused eh? yeah. i think i'm still at the confused lost stage. i just felt tired of being the pillar and carrying all the responsibilities that i just snap under it and drop all the balls i was juggling. and so i withdrew. but there are many thigns in life that's not mine to say drop or not. cos there are things that are just parasite that suck the life and blood out of me no matter stage i am at.
living is really not easy. it's actually rather hard. there are many grounds to make a stand, many battles to fight, many weight that can crush, many expectations to meet. it's an endless stress. hahaha... no matter how i try, it will never be good enough, finish or made easy. there is no such thing as silver spoon in my life journey.
...
the second thing that happened was yesterday. it's rather funny... at least for me.
i drove to my aunt's house to pick my aunt. my cousin sat down and then asked me, "now u do second hand car dealer is it?"
i was like, "huh??!! why?" baffled and surprised cos everyone knows i work in the church.
he replied, "cos u always come here with different car. these past few weeks aldy see u come with 4 different cars."
me shocked face and then burst out laughing. hahahahahaha....
what to do lah.. people with no car is like this lor...
if u've not heard, the dance team, 6 of us, missed the flight!! ahahhaa... due to various reasons and mainly the jam at the road to airport caused by the overturned trailer! so we all had to buy another ticket to kuching, flying again the next morning at 7:25am.
after everyone showered and fresh, we did a surprise farewell "party" for 
after all the excitements and laughter, we went to sleep so that we can wake up earlier in order not to miss our flight a second time! hahahaha... this is rachel sweeping the floor after our camp night.
and the trip would definitely NOT be complete without taking tons of pictures with nailin!!! she was supposed to be in costume and in position on stage with us but due to various factors, she decided to do it at the back, off stage rather than on stage with us! but still, she's part of the team... the part that says "i love kuching" ... hehe...
halfway while pc was make-up-ing in the same room with us, we requested for her to spare us 2.26 minutes. then we sat her down at a chair and did the song "Keep Holding On" for her. at the first line, she aldy cried (see the red eyes...) and we end up in hugs and we were glad she was ministered to. we were happy we managed to encourage her!! even though kel was not there .. which was a spoiler cos it was partially our peace offering for missing the flight thing... hehehhe... our one hour of practice paid off! as we managed to minister to the two person that's closest to the team!! yeah! 
after the second dance (Dream Big), we came down from the stage, changed our clothes and head straight to the airport - only to realise that our flight was delayed! hahahaha.... how we wish it was retimed while we were late in kl but oh well... so some of us went to clean up our faces, ate some buns and then lepak while waiting for the flight and head back to KL! all of us slept in the flight of course!
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