two things

recently someone said that he felt in the past year, i've been rather withdrawn and this thought was seconded by nl actualy. ahhaha... i guess it's something that's more felt than found out. have i been rather withdrawn? i think yes and no. i think i kinda give myself a one year break. was it a good thing or not? i don't think i know too but all i know was i felt i need a break from everything to put myself back together again. did i manage to do it? i also not sure. hahaha... confused eh? yeah. i think i'm still at the confused lost stage. i just felt tired of being the pillar and carrying all the responsibilities that i just snap under it and drop all the balls i was juggling. and so i withdrew. but there are many thigns in life that's not mine to say drop or not. cos there are things that are just parasite that suck the life and blood out of me no matter stage i am at.

living is really not easy. it's actually rather hard. there are many grounds to make a stand, many battles to fight, many weight that can crush, many expectations to meet. it's an endless stress. hahaha... no matter how i try, it will never be good enough, finish or made easy. there is no such thing as silver spoon in my life journey.

...

the second thing that happened was yesterday. it's rather funny... at least for me.
i drove to my aunt's house to pick my aunt. my cousin sat down and then asked me, "now u do second hand car dealer is it?"
i was like, "huh??!! why?" baffled and surprised cos everyone knows i work in the church.
he replied, "cos u always come here with different car. these past few weeks aldy see u come with 4 different cars."
me shocked face and then burst out laughing. hahahahahaha....
what to do lah.. people with no car is like this lor...