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Only Child - No Child Play at all...
This year I'm 26 years old.
Maybe compared to a lot of people, I am considered ok? =/
But how many of u,
at 26yrs old already am taking up the burden of your family and
providing for your parents? Not many that i know.
Many that i know,
at 26, their parents gave them car, house or aprtments and
at the very least, their parents are not depending on them...
Do u know it's tiring to be the head in the family?
it's so tiring i wake up feeling like i slept underneath a big boulder and
sometimes there's not even room to breathe...
...juggling many hats, many decisions.
Every month, you have to be the one providing for the family,
the living expenses and think for the future of your family?
when u get bonus, it all goes to buy insurance for your parents
so that if anything happen to them,
you won't have to worry for their medical fees?
because u know u can't afford it.
Every month,
just the thot of trying to make ends meet
is enough to make tears come... but nope!
no pity-party allowed.
you need to continue to be strong cos the family depends on you!
as the only child,
u know if anything happen to you,
your parents have nothing at all left for them...
juggle it all...
But how many of u,
at 26yrs old already am taking up the burden of your family and
providing for your parents? Not many that i know.
Many that i know,
at 26, their parents gave them car, house or aprtments and
at the very least, their parents are not depending on them...
Do u know it's tiring to be the head in the family?
it's so tiring i wake up feeling like i slept underneath a big boulder and
sometimes there's not even room to breathe...
...juggling many hats, many decisions.
Every month, you have to be the one providing for the family,
the living expenses and think for the future of your family?
when u get bonus, it all goes to buy insurance for your parents
so that if anything happen to them,
you won't have to worry for their medical fees?
because u know u can't afford it.
Every month,
just the thot of trying to make ends meet
is enough to make tears come... but nope!
no pity-party allowed.
you need to continue to be strong cos the family depends on you!
as the only child,
u know if anything happen to you,
your parents have nothing at all left for them...
juggle it all...
This is my second time shifting. Buying an aprtment is really so much hassle. Do u know?The papers back and forth.
The money for each decision. It's not just the downpayment or the loan,
but the lawyer fees, additional fees on each thing, MRTA costs, initial fees,
deposit to management office to even start renovating,
renovation cost - doesn't cover paint or lights,
furniture costs, movers' cost, cleaners, boxes and many many other costs
unexpectedly pops up without budget... nobody tell u to budget for it.
Because of many parties involvements, delays happened.
There's fine to being late. Hence, penalty fees.
Because of late,
i have to stay a few more months at my current rented apt and
at the same time start paying installment for my new aprt.
Double the monthly accommodation costs.
How not to be broke, can u tell me?
who say u don't need a God in your life?I know i need Him. I can't survive this...
if He does not grace me.. i think i'll go crazy with all so many dead-end thots.
i probably won't see the light of hope of living if it's not because of God.
I would rather choose the easy way out...
...runaway and live in another country or something like that
so that i have not eye see for what's happening to my parents and
just send them money monthly and live my own life the way i want it to be...
...which would be hurt my parents and
be dishonored as the only child to my parents.
i know i always joke about going to sushi or chocolates when i'm stressed out- it's just a reason for me to excuse my presence from ppl just enough time to pull myself together...
when tears come against my will,
when i cant bear the burden anymore,
when i cant sleep at nite
because my mind can't stop trying to churn out decisions,
when i woke up at 3am
by the many things not yet done
making it yet another sleepless nite,
when i look around and panicked,
when i don't know what to do or what else can i do anymore,
when i missed the mark,
when i have to bear a mistake,
when i look around helplessly and
there were noone nearby,...
i thank God i can run into His secret place and
seek His comfort,
be totally cocooned in His embrace as He wraps protectively around me,
His shoulder to rest on for awhile, a break and
be strengthened before continuing on....
not just for my own life but even to be enabled to strengthen others....
...that is what i call grace.
it's not a i, me, my, mine life or world...
there are those that's depending on me as well...
i am responsible to show them the path to hope and comfort too.
if i do not draw from God,
an empty me will not be able to strengthen anyone.
"i just cant give up now. come too far from where i started from.
nobody told me the road would be easy and
i don't believe He's brought me this far to leave me..."
Sharon, u need to 加油!! 你不可以放弃!! Gan Ban Tei!
...did i manage to bring you the light of Hope?...
If you felt that I'd blessed you in any way, encouraged you or..... been a light of Hope to you - in your situations or dreams, please write to me at the comment to encourage me......
everyone needs encourage, especially timely ones....
thanks in advance for letting me know that I've been a blessing to you.
knowing this will surely touch my heart and
keep me going on no matter how many times i read this blog...
"Knowing you gives me a feeling of comfort that someone always cares,
someone who will share my thoughts - no matter how crazy it seems to be!"
To all of u that had written in the comments, my biggest thanks to you for encouraging me. I've read each post carefully many times and each time i read it, i felt so blessed to have hear from you and it encourages me to pick myself up and move and continue on... thank you from my heart.
everyone needs encourage, especially timely ones....
thanks in advance for letting me know that I've been a blessing to you.
knowing this will surely touch my heart and
keep me going on no matter how many times i read this blog...
"Knowing you gives me a feeling of comfort that someone always cares,
someone who will share my thoughts - no matter how crazy it seems to be!"
To all of u that had written in the comments, my biggest thanks to you for encouraging me. I've read each post carefully many times and each time i read it, i felt so blessed to have hear from you and it encourages me to pick myself up and move and continue on... thank you from my heart.
one mouth full: IT Infrastructure Optimization Hands-on Labs
SSL, PPP, pipeline, AD, SMS, eseutil, OWA, OMA, GAL, brick level backup, bloat level backup, forest, edb, virtual pc, rpc/http/ activesync, nntp, smtp, eseutil, sybari, activesync, ias, rbl, longhorn......
i have no idea wat they were...
I went for 2 days (nov 8-9) of training with this course: IT Infrastructure Optimization Hands-on Labs.
my office just switched to a server environment and using ms exchange now.
i felt to helpless and stupid and since i can't stand it, i decided to go for this short term course so hopefully i feel less stupid after the course. hehehe...
it was an eventful training..
i woke up early at 8am (maybe to u it's not but it is for me!), braved the jam all the way from puchong side of the ldp to centrepoint. arrived early for mcd breakfast (hightlight) and went to report in at iverson.
upon arrival, the lady at reception told me that the class is cancelled!! wat!?!!! after all the jam??!!
then i waited (confused mah...) and then the lady say that there's been a confusion and the class is on! (??!!)
But overhearing her phone conversation with her superior, the classroom was given away to another training!! hahaha....
so they put us in a smaller room... and i went in and found a spot and waited for half hour.
then the ppl overflow and they decided to shift us over to the other room (A BIT bigger only) and so there were not enough seats.. by the time i enter the room, i was left standing as the guys RUSHED to get a seat for themselves - how gentleman of them! I was the only lady left standing with the rest of the guys!! ooo... felt like an idiot there and then!
so the trainer got me a chair and asked the rest of the ppl to get their own chairs. but later, one of the guys (soon to be my sifu), asked me to fill in the seat next to him as that guy left! it was supposedly a 40pax training, left 30ppl..... it was their mistake to leave!
Microsoft sent a couple of ppl to come for DAMAGE CONTROL! hehehe...
she apologised and gave us each 2 GSC ticket AND a free Microsoft Wireless Mouse!!! hehehe... yay!!!
but the settings and such were disastrous and we got to go off early for lunch! hahaha....
neway. it was a free training and i get free stuffs too! yay!
back to work now. i did felt LESS stupid as i communicate with the solution technicians and even can do briefing for my colleagues! hahahah.... =)
i have no idea wat they were...
I went for 2 days (nov 8-9) of training with this course: IT Infrastructure Optimization Hands-on Labs.
my office just switched to a server environment and using ms exchange now.
i felt to helpless and stupid and since i can't stand it, i decided to go for this short term course so hopefully i feel less stupid after the course. hehehe...
it was an eventful training..
i woke up early at 8am (maybe to u it's not but it is for me!), braved the jam all the way from puchong side of the ldp to centrepoint. arrived early for mcd breakfast (hightlight) and went to report in at iverson.
upon arrival, the lady at reception told me that the class is cancelled!! wat!?!!! after all the jam??!!
then i waited (confused mah...) and then the lady say that there's been a confusion and the class is on! (??!!)
But overhearing her phone conversation with her superior, the classroom was given away to another training!! hahaha....
so they put us in a smaller room... and i went in and found a spot and waited for half hour.
then the ppl overflow and they decided to shift us over to the other room (A BIT bigger only) and so there were not enough seats.. by the time i enter the room, i was left standing as the guys RUSHED to get a seat for themselves - how gentleman of them! I was the only lady left standing with the rest of the guys!! ooo... felt like an idiot there and then!
so the trainer got me a chair and asked the rest of the ppl to get their own chairs. but later, one of the guys (soon to be my sifu), asked me to fill in the seat next to him as that guy left! it was supposedly a 40pax training, left 30ppl..... it was their mistake to leave!
Microsoft sent a couple of ppl to come for DAMAGE CONTROL! hehehe...
she apologised and gave us each 2 GSC ticket AND a free Microsoft Wireless Mouse!!! hehehe... yay!!!
but the settings and such were disastrous and we got to go off early for lunch! hahaha....
neway. it was a free training and i get free stuffs too! yay!
back to work now. i did felt LESS stupid as i communicate with the solution technicians and even can do briefing for my colleagues! hahahah.... =)
I like it You are my LORD!
Many worship sessions whether during SNL or Sunday mornings, i hear from God and there were times i even saw visions and dreams were purified by God...
There used to be times i tell myself when things don't go my way, 'He is God whether i like it or not, whether i will this way or not, He IS GOD and I can't fight that reality' and therefore i tell myself to submit or obey or move over... but i've not have these moments for a long time liow... maybe cos i'm since molded myself to accept it and obey and therefore no more contention..
on 28 Oct 2006 (the first time i do pre-service prayer), in the midst of worship, i caught myself started to utter the same sentence. 'You are Lord whether i....' and then i stopped.
although i started to say it out of habit, i caught myself cos the sentence don't seem real to me anymore... and u know what i said next?
"You are Lord of my life. And i LIKE it" yes lord. I like it that YOU are my Lord and i like YOU are my God.
How many of u are still struggling with Lordship in your life?
The irony is i find joy in this.
One night, many years ago, in sister's house, lying on the bed, i was reading about genesis and the fruit and the knowledge of good and evil... i was reflecting on my life, my past and my decisions... i told God, I don't want to have the choices, i don't know how to make good decisions and i wanan give back the choice of the knowledge of good and evil back to Him and give up my right of making decisions...
Never make light with what u say to God.
Since then my life changed... I embarked on the journey of working in church, growing, stumbling, leading, raising and dreaming... God took my words seriously and many times in my life, i didnt make the decision but the decisions were made for me...
i know God opened the door for me to work in the church office and when pastor offered it to me, i just took it up without thinking.
i didnt choose to share my life testimonies but many times God brought ppl to ask me, opened opportunities for me to share my story. the first time i share my testimony was cos PC came ask me and the first testimony was shared to the 'changed lives' church 3-nites opening - like two hundred ppl for 3 nites!
i didnt choose to be in campus ministry. but happened to be here and after MUCH molding, now i'm a leader.
one time i did a mistake, pc was so angry, she marched into the office, locked the doors and scolded me but surprisingly, i wasn't offended or speak back to her. the peace of God was within me and i was suprised at my own humilty - for the first time!
when ren chun left, i had no transport to go work. the week ren chun leave, my mom bought a second hand car - for RM5k - no need even pay installment!
i support my family expenses - where got savings?? 2 years ago, my dad took his epf and gave money to me and my mom to go New Zealand. tho i didnt go with her, i went wif Ju's family, but it was a blessed trip from God for me to take a break and dream bigger.
when i wanted to rent an aprtment, i checked out the current place and had the peace to rent it and the owner lowered the price for me.
I take long time to decide especially risk of money... God gave me the figure to buy the apartment and when i ask PC, she say she got the same figure and told me to take it. over an afternoon, i bought the apartment.
these are just some among many others....
but all in all, i can say, after all these happenings whether with or without my liking, it had made me a better person and love God more - that's more important.
when louis asked the ppl to pray for their leaders and disciplers last nite, i was like as usual wanted to walk over to thank PC. But i didnt manage to... cos there were people who wanted to thank me!!!!
ahahah... before i could take a step, nailin came and pray for me... after that, i wanted to leave but linda came and wanted to pray for me...
I'm glad i've touched lives. i'm happy cos it tells me that there are ppl i've touched and there are people who remembers me, there are ppl who believes in what i'm doing... if no one pray for me, maybe i've not touched them or i'm not in their radar of leaders??
But i was really blessed to be prayed for...these are my fruits... fruits of obeying God in doing all that He'd asked me to do. THERE ARE FRUITS IN MY LIFE!!! =)
Dare u to give up your choice to God and let HIM choose for u!
There used to be times i tell myself when things don't go my way, 'He is God whether i like it or not, whether i will this way or not, He IS GOD and I can't fight that reality' and therefore i tell myself to submit or obey or move over... but i've not have these moments for a long time liow... maybe cos i'm since molded myself to accept it and obey and therefore no more contention..
on 28 Oct 2006 (the first time i do pre-service prayer), in the midst of worship, i caught myself started to utter the same sentence. 'You are Lord whether i....' and then i stopped.
although i started to say it out of habit, i caught myself cos the sentence don't seem real to me anymore... and u know what i said next?
"You are Lord of my life. And i LIKE it" yes lord. I like it that YOU are my Lord and i like YOU are my God.
How many of u are still struggling with Lordship in your life?
The irony is i find joy in this.
One night, many years ago, in sister's house, lying on the bed, i was reading about genesis and the fruit and the knowledge of good and evil... i was reflecting on my life, my past and my decisions... i told God, I don't want to have the choices, i don't know how to make good decisions and i wanan give back the choice of the knowledge of good and evil back to Him and give up my right of making decisions...
Never make light with what u say to God.
Since then my life changed... I embarked on the journey of working in church, growing, stumbling, leading, raising and dreaming... God took my words seriously and many times in my life, i didnt make the decision but the decisions were made for me...
i know God opened the door for me to work in the church office and when pastor offered it to me, i just took it up without thinking.
i didnt choose to share my life testimonies but many times God brought ppl to ask me, opened opportunities for me to share my story. the first time i share my testimony was cos PC came ask me and the first testimony was shared to the 'changed lives' church 3-nites opening - like two hundred ppl for 3 nites!
i didnt choose to be in campus ministry. but happened to be here and after MUCH molding, now i'm a leader.
one time i did a mistake, pc was so angry, she marched into the office, locked the doors and scolded me but surprisingly, i wasn't offended or speak back to her. the peace of God was within me and i was suprised at my own humilty - for the first time!
when ren chun left, i had no transport to go work. the week ren chun leave, my mom bought a second hand car - for RM5k - no need even pay installment!
i support my family expenses - where got savings?? 2 years ago, my dad took his epf and gave money to me and my mom to go New Zealand. tho i didnt go with her, i went wif Ju's family, but it was a blessed trip from God for me to take a break and dream bigger.
when i wanted to rent an aprtment, i checked out the current place and had the peace to rent it and the owner lowered the price for me.
I take long time to decide especially risk of money... God gave me the figure to buy the apartment and when i ask PC, she say she got the same figure and told me to take it. over an afternoon, i bought the apartment.
these are just some among many others....
but all in all, i can say, after all these happenings whether with or without my liking, it had made me a better person and love God more - that's more important.
when louis asked the ppl to pray for their leaders and disciplers last nite, i was like as usual wanted to walk over to thank PC. But i didnt manage to... cos there were people who wanted to thank me!!!!
ahahah... before i could take a step, nailin came and pray for me... after that, i wanted to leave but linda came and wanted to pray for me...
I'm glad i've touched lives. i'm happy cos it tells me that there are ppl i've touched and there are people who remembers me, there are ppl who believes in what i'm doing... if no one pray for me, maybe i've not touched them or i'm not in their radar of leaders??
But i was really blessed to be prayed for...these are my fruits... fruits of obeying God in doing all that He'd asked me to do. THERE ARE FRUITS IN MY LIFE!!! =)
Dare u to give up your choice to God and let HIM choose for u!
Partners in Christ!
Well, proud to say these are 2 of my 'pride' in the dance ministry...yes, coz of their skillz-fullnezz but most of all, i am proud of their changed lives...
Proud of u in desiring to not just follow but run after God!
Proud of u in being such likemindedness partners!
Proud to be a team together!
Proud of u choosing to partner with me in this mission!
Proud of u guys in constantly molding your skillz!
Proud of u in always reaching out to others!
Proud u are so anointed!
Proud I've rallied good partners!
Proud we are journeying together!
Proud of u in so many many many things!
Most of all,
I'm proud to have the honor of being a part of your lives...
=)
You guys are the best!
With such a team, we are surely on the path of doing great things together!
2007: Here we come!
Lifetime Testimony 2
I came to know God when I was 15 years old. I know God is a good God and yeah, all the right words. But, let me begin my story. Just a few years ago, I was a carefree student happily doing what I want, having what I want to… study at APIIT, my own car, 2 houses coming into inheritance… it’s all mine.
But then, my dad’s business failed. Just like that. Snap of finger. Blink of an eye. From everything, became nothing. The houses were sold to pay debts, so was the cars - creditors and loan sharks on our tail. At 21 years old at that time, I was suddenly shaken out of my comfort zone. No more shelter. Parents depending on me. No more money in the bank. No way out of this room of walls crumbling in on me. It was like a wake up call to life!
Not only that, my parents was on the brink to split ways, and my dad even threatens to take his life because he couldn’t take the pressure of creditors. I became totally at lost. How could a 21-year-old take all these in a dose? I mean, I was supposed to go to my parents for help but I feel that they needed help too.
But then in the midst of all these, there was still a glimmer of hope in my heart to believe that things can turn around. You know what? That is the gift of Hope because God is with me. I just celebrated my 24th birthday yesterday, and looking back the pass few years, I was really glad that God already thought of me before the financial crisis was going to happen.
He introduced Himself as my hope before I needed him so that when I frantically needed hope, he was just right there, beside me. He gave me hope to not just hide in His comforting Presence in my fear and shame, i was able to surrender the pieces of my life and pull my family together, to find a place to stay, to be the one to share hope to my parents that they too may go on with a different kind of lifestyle. I didn’t become depressed or take my life because God was and is still so real to me. I did not just pull through the ordeal; I was graced through it all.
Lifetime Testimony
When I was young (a kid), I was the most insincere worshipper of the chinese gods - I was the most lazy wanna chant for the 'holy water' or pray or even light the joss sticks! Always finding ways to 'forget' or escape from doing those stuffs.
Yet I was the one CHOSEN to be 'god-daughter' of the 'kuan yin'! I say chosen cos there were so many kids at the temple that day and of all the kids, even my faithfully-chanting-cousins were not chosen, me, of all, was called from the midst and asked to be the 'god-daughter'! I think the anointing of God is so evident on my life that the enemy tried to short-change me since young! haha...
I remember one time, when we were again all at the temple and suddenly everyone shouted that the 'spirit of god' came and settled at the altar and everyone gathered and bow before the altar - after that ppl were telling me that there's this light descended from the top of the altar to the altar plate..... me? I saw NOTHING!!! So basically, I thot something was wrong with me cos i didnt see anything but I just shrugged it aside as of no importance to me... or maybe just cos God's anointing on me again that I'm not deceived by these...
Anyway, after i accepted Christ, my mom went to the temple to 'un-god-daughter' me - and this always had been mild-mannered medium lady, yelled at my mom at the temple - totally humiliated my mom for 'letting her daughter do what she wants and not controlling her', she even ended by saying 'bring her here tomoro!' - when i heard that i was shocked of course and started to feel scared having to go temple the next day. I called the lady follow up on me to pray with me.
I went to the temple. to my greatest surprise, she asked me to sit outside the temple and didnt even dare come say a single word to me or even scold or anything at all. All went peaceful and i went home after mom did some paperworks inside! ;)
This is the FIRST REALTIME i felt MY GOD IS ALMIGHTY - all other 'gods' is meek and bow before HIM! He shut the lion's mouth for me - the medium, tho i was at the temple, their territories, they have no hold upon me! So, I KNOW He is above. KING of kings, LORD of lords...
But this is experience, makes me realise that the enemy is trying to entice me before i become a christian and from doing great things for God - he's scheming since i was born. Maybe even the devil saw the anointing of God upon my life that he wanna rob it. God's anointing upon my life is that evident!!
What about u? God did not save u in vain. Work out your salvation to His Glory!
Make Him proud of u!
Yet I was the one CHOSEN to be 'god-daughter' of the 'kuan yin'! I say chosen cos there were so many kids at the temple that day and of all the kids, even my faithfully-chanting-cousins were not chosen, me, of all, was called from the midst and asked to be the 'god-daughter'! I think the anointing of God is so evident on my life that the enemy tried to short-change me since young! haha...
I remember one time, when we were again all at the temple and suddenly everyone shouted that the 'spirit of god' came and settled at the altar and everyone gathered and bow before the altar - after that ppl were telling me that there's this light descended from the top of the altar to the altar plate..... me? I saw NOTHING!!! So basically, I thot something was wrong with me cos i didnt see anything but I just shrugged it aside as of no importance to me... or maybe just cos God's anointing on me again that I'm not deceived by these...
Anyway, after i accepted Christ, my mom went to the temple to 'un-god-daughter' me - and this always had been mild-mannered medium lady, yelled at my mom at the temple - totally humiliated my mom for 'letting her daughter do what she wants and not controlling her', she even ended by saying 'bring her here tomoro!' - when i heard that i was shocked of course and started to feel scared having to go temple the next day. I called the lady follow up on me to pray with me.
I went to the temple. to my greatest surprise, she asked me to sit outside the temple and didnt even dare come say a single word to me or even scold or anything at all. All went peaceful and i went home after mom did some paperworks inside! ;)
This is the FIRST REALTIME i felt MY GOD IS ALMIGHTY - all other 'gods' is meek and bow before HIM! He shut the lion's mouth for me - the medium, tho i was at the temple, their territories, they have no hold upon me! So, I KNOW He is above. KING of kings, LORD of lords...
But this is experience, makes me realise that the enemy is trying to entice me before i become a christian and from doing great things for God - he's scheming since i was born. Maybe even the devil saw the anointing of God upon my life that he wanna rob it. God's anointing upon my life is that evident!!
What about u? God did not save u in vain. Work out your salvation to His Glory!
Make Him proud of u!
warnings!
Genesis 4:6-7, Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master over it."
Luke 22:31, Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift u as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.
Luke 22:31, Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift u as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.
September Celebrations of Lives:
Pastor & Teresa's 11th Wedding Anniversary.Mark & Carolyn's Anniversary too but not sure how many years =)
Birthdays: PC, Jit, Shawn.
I took the picture! haahaha...
As I'm looking at this picture, I was wondering, how many ppl have the honor of celebrating lives with the senior pastors, main leaders in the church?
I'm reflecting on how God had been gracious to me to bring me to such a placement, to be in the same 'party' as these spiritual giants in my life. wow... blowed my mind... from running away from home, this life had been picked up, turned, set on the path of God's will =)
when's your journey starting?
9|in
Btw, she's also a successful 'tic-king' mediator... =)forgot to introduce samson into the picture. hehee...
Cham muka ini! my partner in christ.i need a partner and i felt u really got the grace in this area!
consider in faith and not in head...
=)
u know what i really hate?
*the author had taken down this post due to the fearful response of some readers.
just in case they start having nitemares of the author!*
It's for your good that the author took it off!
just in case they start having nitemares of the author!*
It's for your good that the author took it off!
absurd
I recently bought a notebook. What caught me was the front cover – ABSURD.
As I seek God, I felt my dreams gets more and more beyond me. Hahaha… that’s why this book caught me. I bought is so that I can write down all these absurd ideas or dreams God dropped into my non-absurd mind. To remind myself that this is the Gen 1:1 God I’m believing!
What’s filling the white pages? =) I’m not telling you!
absurd
1. inconsistent with reason or logic or common sense
2. Incongruous; inviting ridicule
Synonyms: ridiculous, idiotic, laughable, nonsensical, preposterous, ludicrous
cows can fly
grass is blue
winter is hot
fire is cool
dogs can talk.
boys love pink
orange spotted zebras
square tyres
i love you, lord
It’s where you raise me up each time I fall
It’s where you lift me up each time I call you name…
I love you, I need you
When I was in my early teens, knowing God filled my heart and saving me from all the nightmares of day and nites, I sang I love you to Him.
When I was 18, going through the phase of searching for a life purpose and being confused, I sang I love to Him because I know he graced me through it all.
When I was 22, going through major turmoil in my family as I left home, as I deal with my home/family that’s on the verge of shattering into pieces, I anchor my heart and cries in the gentle covering of God.
I cried out the words I love you to Him because he showed me the vision like a small girl, I climbed into His gentle embrace that’s like the bud of a flower and His petals is covering me and it’s a secret place I can go for rest and protection.
Last year, during 1Day, as I sat in the worship, I couldn’t even sing a single word as I wrestle with God, wanting my way in this life and not seeing Him giving it to me. I left the service, hardening my heart.
Last Sunday, as I stood there, singing those words again, I began to remember all those years He brought me through and once again it strengthen my waiting for His will to be fulfill in my life. I wrestle with Him because I’m now 26 and still not sure what I’m supposedly to be doing.
There was once, on July 24, 2005, Pastor Tim prophesied over me saying that ‘by 30 (yrs old), I’ll just see God’s open doors and great things. Now, molding time.’
I cried because all these while I wrestle with Him wanting my way and insisted He open doors for me now, and not when I’m 30, I suddenly see the immaturity of it all. I see a child stomping her feet, crying out for something I can’t have.
I cried harder then because I know it’s my own unwillingness to let God mold that took Him thirty years to mold me to the right Sharon to be able to take on the open doors and great things. I am hindering God from letting me have what I wanted. That’s the irony of it.
I am just not ready until then. Even if He opens the doors now, deep down, I know I’m only partial ready to take on the world. I cry as I see my myself hindering God’s work in my life these last few years as I wanted my way, my time, my preferences, my comfort zones, my self.
Yes, there were many times I did sacrifice in certain areas to allow God’s workings but those times were few and meagre. It’s so few that this process of molding needs to take thirty years!
I’m so encouraged by Ps Ben’s message and so glad Holy Spirit made me stay for the service.
Matt 8:10, when Jesus heard this, He was astonished and said to those following Him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in
Mark 6:6, And He was amazed at their lack of faith.
What do you invoke in God? Your Great Faith or your Lack of Faith?
Or you’re just being so ‘where-you-are’ that you don’t even catches God’s attention?
If you are reading my blog, I want to tell you please don’t walk in my footsteps, for your own sake, don’t struggle with God’s working in your life.
When life throw you into a storm, let your great faith hang on to God amazed even Him!
My Prophesies - Hold on to it!!
2 Peter 1,
19, and we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.
20, Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation.
21, For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.
19, and we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.
20, Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation.
21, For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.
**Side Note: I think 2006 weren't so many prophecies bcos this year, God spoke to me personally and i hear Him easier and therefore, I've got my own faith strengthen and not depending on the next prophet to come and whack dullness off my head...
Pastor Timothy, 7 Oct 2006
You're called for great things! Formation of dreams.
Charlene Liang, 1 Nov 2005
Jonah – prophesying and tearing down enemies… don’t run away like Jonah
Like Peter walking on water, there’s wind and waves, shouting for help inside + doubt + falling – as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, I walk alrite. But when I don’t, I began the phase of confusion and doubt.
By 30,I’ll just see God’s open doors and great things. Now. Molding time.
Steven: like fishermen throwing nets – just do it when God says!
Kelvin: Dove + Great exploits (Daniel 11:32b). The Spirif of the Lord is upon you and you shall do great exploits for Him
Pastor Cathryn, 12 Oct 2004
Ability to impact and believe in the vision.
Tho I might not be able to speak to the whole group, but able to impact well to the first level therefore can still pass down stronger.
Pastor Cathryn, 5 Oct 2004
You are like a piece of jigsaw puzzle. Unique in a way you can’t fit into any other space except the one space meant for you.
God has made u/shaped you just to fit that space – don’t need to think you need to be this / that or this person / that person for you are like that piece of puzzle that can only fit in there.
Steven Teoh, 28 July 2004,
“But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendents will inherit it.
Well, as I was praying for you and asking God for a word this morning, the phrase “different spirit” came to my mind. I must say God has done a wonderful work in u. and with all…the challenges you are facing now – having not like-minded disciples, physical, work stress, etc – he is faithful to provide you grace to over all.
Alicia Lim, 21 May 2004
Hey, when you talked about being in a storm, I saw a pic. Den today I saw again as I was praying 4u.
Anyway, as you face away from danger, the storm that was around you totally starts to recede at your feet, revealing the pier. Only this pier is not made of wood. This pier is made of stones and rocks.
And there is a light shining from the direction you are facing, breaking through the storm to slowly reveal, not all, but like halfway of the pier so far. Only a narrow part of the pier is flat for you to walk safely, the rest is sloping and slippery but its ok, cos the light that is shining lights your path. And you are not being blown about by any wind, so long as you keep your eyes on the lighted path, it’s no problem 4u to wlak on and get to safety.
However, there is wind around you, affecting the sloping parts very badly, pulling out everything as you are about to walk past. And this is the tricky part. It’s easy to walk on the lighted path, but the things being pulled out is causing a distraction. So if you are distracted, you slip. And if you want to watch without slipping, you have to stop walking.
my daughter, you’re an intercessor, you’re an intercessor and there’s going to be just new insights and even prophetic intercessions. You’re gonna see prophetic intercessions as opening doors for evangelism, breaking down walls and barriers of even cultural things. And even as you pray, you’ll gonna see doors open, the harvest is gonnab the coming in.
you’re gonna see my kingdom advancing ever so powerfully. You’re going to see visions of angesl angelic forces, just penetrating and just breaking down age-old foundations and walls and strongholds. You’re going to see the angels and My forces even as you’re praying; you’re going to see them released even over places, over cities, even in this place, over campuses, over businesses, you’re gonna see it. You’re going to be praying for places and you’re gonna see My forces taking over, and advancing My kingdom; even as the kingdom advances, you’re gonna see a harvest of soul.
I want you to know My daughter, that I am the One that is orchestrating everything. And you’ve been faithful to My call, and I’m the One preparing it and at the right time, I will be One orchestrating it and I;m the One preparing it, and at the right time, I will be the One to move and I will be the One to bring things together. My daughter, I know every detail about your life and I am well-pleased. I am well-pleased with you. My desire is to bless u.
Ps Neil Bernardino, July 2002,
learn to sit at His feet and worship Him. The Lord is calling you into a deeper relationship with Him. He’s so proud of you, He wants to show you more of His secrets.
I’m going to anoint you as you listen to me. I’m just going to anoint you with a prophetic anointing. The prophetic anointing would be strong in u. the prophetic flow would be strong in you. You would speak words of life, words of encouragement, strengthening and comfort to people says the Lord, you would be able to build people up, you will be able to build the church up. And this anointing would become stronger and stronger and stronger in your life.
there’s gonna be a powerful declaration that what you speak shall be done. You’re gonna grow in this gifting.
I will reward you with greater responsibilities. I’ve seen your faithfulness and I’m proud of you. You bring joy to me and I’m pleased with you.
aside from the prophetic anointing, I’ve placed, there’s a grace just to take care of people, there’s a grace, to meet the ends of people and there’s a grace to just (you’re not gonna be a pastor) but there’s a pastoral grace upon you that’s gonna began to come forth, you’re gonna see it become more clear to you in the coming days.
http://www.divein06.blogspot.com/
Go Go Go!!
"Desperate"
Desperate in love, acceptance, attention and sex. What is love? Boy girl relationships? What kind of a friend am I to others?
"Intrigue"
Intrigue in the unknown, unbelievable and truth. What is truth? Is there such thing as absolute truth? What on earth am I here for? What? How? When?
"Vulnerable"
Vulnerable in the media, trends and fads. What is going on in our culture today? Addiction? Wrong self image?
"Engage"
Engaging to discover a new truth about yourself in this world.
1 Day - RM 30 (indicate which night, if you're staying over)
2 Days - RM 60 (indicate which day and night)
3 Days - RM 90 (if registered in a group) or RM 120 (individual)
Extra Night - Add RM15 (last day in Genting Theme Park, no meals provided, park entrance fees at own expense)
New Projects / Productions:
We were planning to do a talent@5 showcase in Sep but I decided to scrap it cos I felt to tied up with the many happenings in church plus i didnt want my team to be too stretched.... but who knows? God knows!
hahha... PC came to me and suggested we do a performance during worship encounter in sep!! so guess we're not resting after all. but the tricky part is this - not do a dance performance but do something that can draw ppl to worship! hmmm.... for a fast song dance team, this is REALLY tricky! hahaha...
So as i put it to the team, squeezing their brain juice, nufin came. so the meeting ended without much fruits and we went on to SNL.
But if it's God's will for us to do, if He thwarted my plans for His plans to come, of course He's got a message He wants us to tell. So, during worship time that SNL, the whole idea, thots, came to me in a vision! i saw how it could be done!! I was so excited after that i texted the team that I was about to burst with excitement but cant exactly explain the plan in the sms! hahaha... like ina says, shiok sendiri! hahaha...
Anyway, I cant be spoiling the surprise by telling you what is the plan! ha!
But I can tell you that the ppl that's gonna be involve in this project are challenged to a ONE week fast and pray and ask God what HE wants to tell thru them and not what they wanna tell about God! hmph! That's the condition. It's about worship encounter so we need to start by worship and not by what we are able to do! We need to bring the Presence of God and not the presence of me.
after sep project will be the christmas project- still a blank piece of paper! hahhaaha... but the theme is 'God with me'. but as we worship, God will reveal His heart! the only hint i can give you is that, 'the world needs a savior' *wink wink!
then, there would be the surprise project in march! ah ha!
this woud be a REALLY Fun project! getting excited even as i think about it! hahhahaa.... surprise surprise!
Isn't dance exciting? I love the projects around the corners... i love this anticipating feeling like giving birth to a new baby! Oh, Lord, What is it that YOU wants us to say? do? shout out loud??
...from the inside out....
...God is the strength of my heart....
thanks, Holy Spirit! =)
hahha... PC came to me and suggested we do a performance during worship encounter in sep!! so guess we're not resting after all. but the tricky part is this - not do a dance performance but do something that can draw ppl to worship! hmmm.... for a fast song dance team, this is REALLY tricky! hahaha...
So as i put it to the team, squeezing their brain juice, nufin came. so the meeting ended without much fruits and we went on to SNL.
But if it's God's will for us to do, if He thwarted my plans for His plans to come, of course He's got a message He wants us to tell. So, during worship time that SNL, the whole idea, thots, came to me in a vision! i saw how it could be done!! I was so excited after that i texted the team that I was about to burst with excitement but cant exactly explain the plan in the sms! hahaha... like ina says, shiok sendiri! hahaha...
Anyway, I cant be spoiling the surprise by telling you what is the plan! ha!
But I can tell you that the ppl that's gonna be involve in this project are challenged to a ONE week fast and pray and ask God what HE wants to tell thru them and not what they wanna tell about God! hmph! That's the condition. It's about worship encounter so we need to start by worship and not by what we are able to do! We need to bring the Presence of God and not the presence of me.
after sep project will be the christmas project- still a blank piece of paper! hahhaaha... but the theme is 'God with me'. but as we worship, God will reveal His heart! the only hint i can give you is that, 'the world needs a savior' *wink wink!
then, there would be the surprise project in march! ah ha!
this woud be a REALLY Fun project! getting excited even as i think about it! hahhahaa.... surprise surprise!
Isn't dance exciting? I love the projects around the corners... i love this anticipating feeling like giving birth to a new baby! Oh, Lord, What is it that YOU wants us to say? do? shout out loud??
...from the inside out....
...God is the strength of my heart....
thanks, Holy Spirit! =)
Stillpoint? Eaglepoint!!
Introducing the pretty gals!
Left-rite:
1st Pix: sharon, becky, anna, april, pamela(back), elise, ina. yc taking pic!
2nd Pix: Sharon and Ps Sharon.
Proud to present the Stillpoint dance theater ... a part of Every Nation! yay! heheheh...come back next year!
We took them to Assam House for lunch and let them walk in IOI Mall before heading to check mail in church.
Ps Sharon was having problem breathing cos of asthmatic attacks since arriving in KL so i send her and Pamela back to the hotel while the rest charged into Petaling St for shopping. I stayed at the hotel and had a long chat with Ps Sharon, asking her many questions (tho didnt finish, still got 4 ques didnt get to ask.. hehhe..) When everyone came back, we had dinner together to celebrate Pamela's belated birthday! these crazy bunch of ppl are real funnee and crazee and ridiculously funny and crazy! ehehhe... if u know what i mean, they would fit in a conversation with Neil, Daniel and Vince together. I laffed too much the whole nite...
I hope the plans with Ps Tim to do something next year will work out then we can really try to bless the community in some ways through dance and make it an outreach! yay! alrito!
for information on them, http://www.simpleprayer.org/42/220.html.
Left-rite:
1st Pix: sharon, becky, anna, april, pamela(back), elise, ina. yc taking pic!
2nd Pix: Sharon and Ps Sharon.
Proud to present the Stillpoint dance theater ... a part of Every Nation! yay! heheheh...come back next year!
We took them to Assam House for lunch and let them walk in IOI Mall before heading to check mail in church.Ps Sharon was having problem breathing cos of asthmatic attacks since arriving in KL so i send her and Pamela back to the hotel while the rest charged into Petaling St for shopping. I stayed at the hotel and had a long chat with Ps Sharon, asking her many questions (tho didnt finish, still got 4 ques didnt get to ask.. hehhe..) When everyone came back, we had dinner together to celebrate Pamela's belated birthday! these crazy bunch of ppl are real funnee and crazee and ridiculously funny and crazy! ehehhe... if u know what i mean, they would fit in a conversation with Neil, Daniel and Vince together. I laffed too much the whole nite...
I hope the plans with Ps Tim to do something next year will work out then we can really try to bless the community in some ways through dance and make it an outreach! yay! alrito!
for information on them, http://www.simpleprayer.org/42/220.html.
thank you!
Thank yous to some of the people from the conference...Rev Karen Liew, CDFM Coordinator, she's actually a passionate woman. the way she tok, the way she relate, it's all passionate communication. She actually looks like my discipline teacher in high school (even the hairstyle!), so i was pretty afraid of her since the beginning but then of course i found her sense of humor! hehehehe... thanks to her, we had such a big international event that blessed us!
Next to her is Madam Surianty Liu. She is a gem! She made all our jaws dropped! ! hehehe.... when she dance, your jaw will drop too! hehehehe.... sharp and very very cheeky! ehehhe.... makes you just wanna love this dear lady! thanks to her, we learnt that we can dance from 7 to 70! hehehe...
Attended one of Michael Voon's class! he is superbly crazy in the way he do things! hehehee...it's really trans-cultural dance.. thanks to him, we learnt that anything put together also can make a dance out of it with any song! some of us did a hindi+chinese+malay cultural steps in a reggae song! hehe...
Next to him is Joel Tan! Their team just won the breakdance battle and representing south east asia to competition in thailand next month! ehehehe... congrats to him and team! oh he also choreograph our black and white dance to the song 'who's in the house' and also we were taking classes from urban. but stopped for a while since the many performances we had in the church. maybe continue next month. thanks to him. we had had a good time in class.
Last but not least, all the committee members that'd put in a lot of effort and help and sacrifices.... bear-hug beatrice, stable sara, jolly jennifer, dabble douglas, christinas and among many others who'd put in their efforts... you guys are the best! hugs! double hugs!!
*we did posed for a pic with beatrice n christina then the camera went out of batt!*
Next to her is Madam Surianty Liu. She is a gem! She made all our jaws dropped! ! hehehe.... when she dance, your jaw will drop too! hehehehe.... sharp and very very cheeky! ehehhe.... makes you just wanna love this dear lady! thanks to her, we learnt that we can dance from 7 to 70! hehehe...
Attended one of Michael Voon's class! he is superbly crazy in the way he do things! hehehee...it's really trans-cultural dance.. thanks to him, we learnt that anything put together also can make a dance out of it with any song! some of us did a hindi+chinese+malay cultural steps in a reggae song! hehe...Next to him is Joel Tan! Their team just won the breakdance battle and representing south east asia to competition in thailand next month! ehehehe... congrats to him and team! oh he also choreograph our black and white dance to the song 'who's in the house' and also we were taking classes from urban. but stopped for a while since the many performances we had in the church. maybe continue next month. thanks to him. we had had a good time in class.
Last but not least, all the committee members that'd put in a lot of effort and help and sacrifices.... bear-hug beatrice, stable sara, jolly jennifer, dabble douglas, christinas and among many others who'd put in their efforts... you guys are the best! hugs! double hugs!!
*we did posed for a pic with beatrice n christina then the camera went out of batt!*
CDFM: Wow in Genting!!
Arrival Day: Extreme cold and misty! Cant even see in front of us! Look at the amount of food we bought at Tesco... hehehe... tok abt eating!! but it was all gone. heheh... isn't nailin CUTE!!!??? neway, we went in 'nicky'. had to pull hard for the canvas to close.
Opening Nite Performance: All made up. Black and White for the Hip Hop and red n jeans for 'great day'. the great day dance was a disaster. it was worse than 'ok' it was horribly in errors cos not enuf practices so everyone made mistakes many times on stage. sigh.....the extreme right pix is yc with uncle button! she's crazy over him! dun ask me why. hehehe... maybe it's a 'growing up' issue! hehehehehehehehehe...... but he's real good. use clowing as a means of sharing love and gospel. i've not seen it before him. anyone needs a clown, please call him up and you'll be surprised! (http://unclebutton.tripod.com/)
Dance Village: What can i say? except.... YOU POSERS!!! hehehe.... we were waiting for the show to start.Dance Village is a half hour concert the faculties or different nations put together to perform at the stage in the middle of First World's indoor park. we were one of the thots to perform but then our song got 'jesus' and 'god' words so we can't. this made me think that we shud redo 'more to life' to be able to really make it an outreach!
Well, ok, we were posing not just at dance village, practically everywhere and everything! hehehe... while waiting in queue, while waiting for those waiting in queue, when there's umbrella and fake coconuts and also the 'boyband walk' in the parking lot!!!! hehehehe....
International Nite: YEAH! this is the NITE that the Lord has made! we performed! but sorry, guys, no performance pixs cos they got official photographer so not let us take pix. but the 1st pic is us rehearsing while waiting for our stage time. practising in a circle. hehee... here comes the group pictures then the fans club - ahhahaha.... the dance team chipped in together to get pastor and family's tickets, kevin+nancy + Sophia+Serena+Samantha went to support us also, also kat, lau n annie were there (they had to rush back to work so not in the pic). I was real happy and encouraged! cos it felt that our family was there to cheer us on!! hehehehe.... i like the last pic - we each have some kind of gloves...hehheh.... yay! ecf!!Honestly speaking, i dunno whether we did well or not, but i know i am very proud and encouraged by my team and we were in one accord and in the right spirit and went all out for the performance. Rev Karen was ok with it, i mean we rep malaysia, so if it's fine with her, it's fine with me! hehehe... maybe we brought culture shock to the 'older' ppl there but then it's good to shock them rite? that's the element of surprise! hehehe...but rev karen is so funny, she say, 'i recommend wan, sure got standard' so we didnt even go thru audtion fr corrinne. hehehe....it's really god's blessings, as i submitted the dance just for exposure for the team and we ended up representing malaysia. thank god for enlarging our world and also our talents.
after that we summore got invitations to bless other places! hehehe... we are really not there yet in skill so i guess we are not going out for now, but i still feel real happy.. south africa pastor warren really encouraged us the next day and challenged us to continue reaching the youth in what we do!
oh, ya, must tell you that Chris and Ina boldly took the durian bombs but Pri, sigh... she wasnt as bold and threw it away before we all woke up! hehehehe.... part of team building is torturing them with durians! hehehe.... we had a lot of fun!
Community Dance Nite: This is thursday nite, everyone came together for many group dances. this was two of them. it was real funny, doing south africa group dance, jewish group dance and some other group dances... oh yah, must mention, the last pix is nailin and her new found good friend - 'killer eyes' from philippines! hehhehe... dun tell her i i tell u!
What a team: during the day, i heard about so many christian artists that were misunderstood by the church leaders and were needing reconciliation with their arts and their leaders. i was reflecting on what good leaders we had, they encourages us and open the doors for us to use our talents to worship and to reach other artists!
during the nite, i heard about ppl complaining about the conference and scolding the committee members and rev karen was sharing her heart as there were not enuf ppl in the team to serve together. and the nite kinda ended low but when we reach our apt, we were immediately surprised by our ever supporting and creative team members. the whole morning they were with us and did not leak a single hint of the surprises they had installed for us at the apt. hehehe....
first, we open door and discover the tumbler that was lost the day before, then the table with our food nicely arranged. dey even used the uno stacko blocks to arrange an message to us! even tucked in Mr. M (Ina's bear), arranged our shoes, made all the beds, and clean up the rooms! hehehehe.... it was a GREAT encouragement to me personally! thanks, guys! I'm so proud of you and I'm so glad God put me in this church where the leaders AND the team are in ONE ACCORD!
What a NOTTI team: hehehe.... the rice cooker is our source of cooking! guess what's missing - the cable! hehehe...
they left a hint in the toilet ' we love trees' hehehe....
guess we found it after all! hehehe.... (samson say, "dun be so proud, we wanted u guys to find it!")!!!!
15 mins later, look at the table again! hehehehe... sorry guys, old habits die hard!
Lifestyle:Our Source of Entertainment (besides laffing at each other) is crashing the UNO Stacko!
Our Hangout Place - tower 2, 6th floor - daily lunch place! the only hot water supply.. hehehe... nobody caught us or threw us out! hehehehe...
Our Menu - maggi mee! ehhehehehehe..... so cham....
More posers: while chris waited for the girls outside the restroom, we were taking pictures inside! hehehe... vanity mirrors, can't help it. all the workshops dun have mirrors so we resorted to trying it in the toilet! hehehe.... i like the last picture.. hehee.... chris so funny! he's our official yellow food bag carrier. very important person. there was once he got distracted and didnt turn up during lunch time, we dun even have maggi mee to eat! ehhehe...
Self-entertainments: staying together for a week, we somehow needed to make things up to entertain ourselves! ehhehehe..... nailin trying to do contemporary with anna(cheeky one) and elise (smily 19yrs old - she comes from an acrobatic family!!) we were just practising posing, and then we tried to take nailin's shoes off! hehehe.. finally, she fell off the chairs! hehehe... it was great fun!
Life-changing workshops: That's Chris with Freddie and next to it is another class with Lucy Parker. Freddie Moore and Corrine (http://crearuach.com/) were two of the teachers that changed our lives and dance. We made Chris go to Freddie's class and it changed his life too. Now, Chris can do moves that are sharp and not ONLY ROUNDED! ehhehehe.... tried so hard to bang into his head for so many months, one class with Freddie and now he's doing it liow! hehehe... it takes a guy to reach a guys! The bottom 2 pixs are our choreography hands on class. we were normal at first, until Corinne (in grey) taught us to distort our moves in dance - then we became distorted! ehhehe.... we gave both of them a 1a.m. album cos they blessed us so much! Guess who's doing slow, contemporary ballet-like dance... ehhehe.... nailin kong! hehehehe... there's also dr pamela's classes (http://www.pamelarutherford.org/) which ina went but i didnt cos too many workshops to choose. but she's always bringing the presence of God with her whenever she ministers on stage!Ok, you must be wondering how come only our pictures and no other delegates. actually we were not being anti-social but sometimes they took pictures with us in their cameras and didnt send us a copy... hehehhe... we did get to know some ppl from philippines, sweden, australia, south africa and of course, our states team - Stillpoint and Ps Sharon!
it's really a wow week. many dances and mime brought tears to my eyes, because the presence of God was so evident and many were ministered. it was a week of fruitfulness.
on our way down, we prayed all the way, thanking God and for the various ways we can now use our gifts to minister and reach and rally other artists to join us together!
Who am I?
Daniel 10:20 So he said, "Do you know why I have come to you?
In this chapter, the archangel Gabriel came to answer Daniel's prayer to reveal God's plan to him. In fact the angel said in Chap 9:23 that "as soon as you began to pray, an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed." wow.... remember that the next time you pray! =)
Let's get back to Chap 10, the ARCHANGEL was even explaining to Daniel (a mere human) why he was delayed in answering his prayer.. double wow!... but then he ask Daniel this question that stuck to my head for this week, "Do you know why I have come to you?"
Have you ever wonder why of all the millions of people in the world, that's not yet saved, God chose to save you FIRST? over that millions? why? anything special about me? no special talent, not the most obedient child, not much patience for ppl, always scold ppl, take God's grace for granted among many other bad habits....... why me? why still He choose me? why not Hitler? he would turn the world around, why not steven spielberg? he revolve the world around his movies for God! why still me? a nobody?
It's this grace that I can't comprehend and can't help but worship God...
Why would God choose you? You who are reading my blog now?
CASTING CROWN: WHO AM I...
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.
Chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.
In this chapter, the archangel Gabriel came to answer Daniel's prayer to reveal God's plan to him. In fact the angel said in Chap 9:23 that "as soon as you began to pray, an answer was given, which I have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed." wow.... remember that the next time you pray! =)
Let's get back to Chap 10, the ARCHANGEL was even explaining to Daniel (a mere human) why he was delayed in answering his prayer.. double wow!... but then he ask Daniel this question that stuck to my head for this week, "Do you know why I have come to you?"
Have you ever wonder why of all the millions of people in the world, that's not yet saved, God chose to save you FIRST? over that millions? why? anything special about me? no special talent, not the most obedient child, not much patience for ppl, always scold ppl, take God's grace for granted among many other bad habits....... why me? why still He choose me? why not Hitler? he would turn the world around, why not steven spielberg? he revolve the world around his movies for God! why still me? a nobody?
It's this grace that I can't comprehend and can't help but worship God...
Why would God choose you? You who are reading my blog now?
CASTING CROWN: WHO AM I...
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.
Chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.
1 accord ministry dancers
CONFIRM!
We are performing on the 12th July, 2006 at Genting First World, on the 'International Nite Concert'!!
Am proud of you guys! we are in one accord! Let's make Christ proud! hehehe...
=)
sharon
In April, a group of us came together to pray and seek God for His message to His people for Easter. We felt that Christ came to die for the world but was resurrected from death to bring life and hope but many songs in the world seem to magnify the hopelessness of living.
We are performing on the 12th July, 2006 at Genting First World, on the 'International Nite Concert'!!
Am proud of you guys! we are in one accord! Let's make Christ proud! hehehe...
=)
sharon
In April, a group of us came together to pray and seek God for His message to His people for Easter. We felt that Christ came to die for the world but was resurrected from death to bring life and hope but many songs in the world seem to magnify the hopelessness of living. So we, in one accord, agreed that we want to tell everyone that 'there's gotta be more to life' (by Stacie Oricco) than all that you see around you because there's hope in God. We also chose the song 'Always and Forever' (by PlanetShakers) because we have experienced that 'there's nothing better than living for Him'. Jesus Himself promised in John 8:12 that 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life'. It is our hope that this light of life will be brought to you through this performance.
This is one poem I felt describes the Bible... I had it written at the back cover of my (not current) Bible!
Notes on the Art of Poetry by Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)
I could never have dreamt that there were such goings-on
in the world between the covers of books,
such sandstorms and ice blasts of words,
such staggering peace, such enormous laughter,
such and so many blinding bright lights,
spalshing all over the pages
in a million bits and pieces
all of which were words, words, words,
and each of which were alive forever
in its own delight and glory and oddity and light.
Notes on the Art of Poetry by Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)
I could never have dreamt that there were such goings-on
in the world between the covers of books,
such sandstorms and ice blasts of words,
such staggering peace, such enormous laughter,
such and so many blinding bright lights,
spalshing all over the pages
in a million bits and pieces
all of which were words, words, words,
and each of which were alive forever
in its own delight and glory and oddity and light.
Controlled Fire
Sometimes it's easier just tok to your leaders.
Had a chat with PC last nite. Sharing my struggle in striking a balance in all my thots, fiery passion and cool-headed passion and easily she answered me that only 'Controlled Fire' can make things work. Consuming fires can burn down things and injure people and cause destruction. but only Controlled Fire are put to used.
So i guess that should settle my balance part...
Had a chat with PC last nite. Sharing my struggle in striking a balance in all my thots, fiery passion and cool-headed passion and easily she answered me that only 'Controlled Fire' can make things work. Consuming fires can burn down things and injure people and cause destruction. but only Controlled Fire are put to used.
So i guess that should settle my balance part...
Fiery Passion vs Cool-Headed Passion
I mite be wrong but i associate the word passion to be like fire. Passion consumes a person like fire burning. Maybe dance is really my passion or maybe i just really really really just like to dance! Maybe it because of this reason, it tends to become my red button - once pressed, volcanic eruption and burn anyone that's around...... sigh...
on the other hand, i'm very excited!!
we are one of the chosen group to perform in the CDFM 6th International Creative Arts Conference in Genting this JULY! hehehe...
of course i feel honored and also on the other hand, i felt we took steps towards a greater dream than just church dancers. i hope the team will rise up to the occasion in their skills, practices and attitudes.
The open door for us, i've connected a way, whether this will become our stepping stone to the next level or not, depends on everyone's effort. But this season will also be my personal evaluation as to HOW to build this team and WHO to build this team with in the near future.
Building can be such a dread word. Anything that involves other people, can instantly become a difficult task! hehehe.... but most of all, i dread the people that are not responsible to their word. This kind of people, i kenot tahan! hehehe... on the other hand, i also think i'm too curt to label a person being 'irresponsible to their word' after one or two accounts where they didnt keep their word and then black list them! hehhehe...
so there's this 2 part of me trying to balance out my thoughts, plans, decisions and most of all, my word and my values.
yeah, i know, i sound confused. haha... that's how it is at times when i cant make a final standard. hmm... time to fast n pray....
It takes Fiery Passion to have a dream, starts a team, press myself on to a vision and pull everyone to go the next level.
It takes Cool-Headed Passion to still stay in the dream, continue building a team, pyscho myself to press on, and still can pull everyone to the next level..............without offending anyone at all.
Will it be possible? How long can I stay in placement? =)
Ethan Ethan!
For all of u who misses my godson, here's a treat for you!
Makes me wana buy a ticket to fly over NOW! hehehehe....
Makes me wana buy a ticket to fly over NOW! hehehehe....
The Issue of Trusting God!
God knows the desires of our hearts because He watches over us, our coming in and going out.
I’ve been praying about buying my own place for about a year. If you know my story, my parents had a financial breakdown about 2 years ago and we had to sell everything to pay the debts and from a above average inheritance I was suppose to have, it all became to nothing and so I rented my current apt and invited my parents to come and stay with me.
But somehow or rather, as I pray, I didn’t feel that was the direction God wanted me to go so I put it off, telling my parents that it wasn’t time. Plus I was asking around and found out that I didn’t have enough money to buy a place because of the high interest rates.
I put everything off until PC mentioned it to Jaslyn, and Jaslyn sent me an email saying that AIA is giving quite a good rate. After calculating, I found out that I can afford to actually own a place! Then, the story starts to get interesting.
So, from zero to be able to get my own place, I’m already very grateful to God... But, you see, the God that we serve is a big God. When He is out to bless us, He MEANS it!
First, the price. PC is quite accurate in these giving figures actually. She told me to get an apt about RM125K. But me, I’m not good with figures. But I remember one day, I was sitting down in my room, prayed and in my own figures and calculation, I came up with the number 125K also. But when I started to check out the prices and the apartments, most of them were asking for RM135K to RM145K. But I was still at peace. Lepaklah… you’ll know its God’s will when it’s happens accordingly lah…
I saw about 4 to 5 units but I quite like this unit on the 8th floor but the owner is asking for RM135K. When my agent asked me how much I wanna offer for it, I pulled the figure from my head – RM125K. Now, I was expecting the owner to say it’s too much to reduce RM10K and blah blah blah… but somehow or rather, after some thoughts and mumbling, she agreed! I was shocked! She DID reduced RM10K! That’s why when I say it’s God’s will, it will happen. I felt at peace So, that’s another blessing from God.
Then, come a scary part. Being first timer in these legal matters, I was looking for a lawyer and it was so expensive, the kind of misc costs they put on paper! Then I went away on a cell trip to frasers and all in all, I was late in getting my Sales and Purchase Agreement! By the stated rule, I was to pay a penalty of 2% from the sales price which is about 2+K! can you imagine me suddenly shaken? Hehehe… I was shaken but it’s funny to describe. It’s like I know I was walking on water I know I was suppose to be sinking but somehow, I was at peace and not sinking.
I finally found marcus, he was so helpful, he rushed it for me and when he called the owner, she said that she’s going away for a long weekend and can only do it the following week! So, now, who’s the one late? She! So I don’t have to pay penalty! Yoo hooo…. Ehhehehe… phew… close call? Yes! Very!
Then next, there were many many banks offering loans that seems very attractive and benefits here and there so for a while I was confused by too many choices. Again I tried to calculate but I just got so confused, I stopped, prayed and I remembered that it was JAslyn that first gave me the first green light on getting an apartment, as I continue to pray I knew that the peace of God is upon that. So I made up my mind, with or without my calculation, I was going to take the AIA option. So, once I obeyed, I again see God’s blessing.
Because of all late here and there added up, I only get to apply my loan next week. So I see another blessing! I was asking Jaslyn about submitting the loan, and she said ‘AIA is reducing the interest rates for new policy holders, starting on the 11th may!’ So, I was late for A REASON!
Today, as we take out our offerings to give, are your hearts, and your lifestyle able to trust God for His provision even when you felt you are walking on water? In 1 timothy 6:17, the Bible says that “God who RICHLY PROVIDES FOR US with everything for our enjoyment!”
As the ushers proceed, let me read you some verses from the Bible.
2 Samuel 22:31 As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
Psalm 9:10, And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.
Psalm 28:7, The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.
Psalm 31:19, Oh, how great is Your goodness, Which You have laid up for those who fear You, Which You have prepared for those who trust in You In the presence of the sons of men!
Psalm 37:5, Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
Proverbs 28:25, …But he who trusts in the LORD will be prospered.
Psalm 31:14, But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.”
Slumber at Genting
All things need to start with food... ehehehe... breakfast at dimsum shop! hehehe... no wonder the cars were dragging on the way up!
it was JUDY! she can't get the pen tune and coordinate her hands at the same time! ehhehehe..... so the pens ended all
at her place! hhehe...
at her place! hhehe...i can't remember rachel's nick! it was squeeksqueek! hehehe... she's also pointing at me cos she can't remember mine! yay! 'gobblegobblegobble' so she got all my cards! heheheh...
look closely and you'll see ina's cheeky snickering at us!
hmm... forgot to punish those who got the most wrong times! was it Judy???? heheeheheh...
i dragged everyone for a round of 4d motion master.. but was quite disappointed with it. we had to queue for a while to get in so we had a few rounds of 7up... entertaining ourselves and the those other ppl in the queue! ehhehe...
we came, we saw, we buy ticket, we conquer, we vomit...... just kidding! hehehee... i just closed my eyes the whole way! ehhehehe... cos didnt wanna vomit. but ina was like soooooo 'no effect'.. oh well. next time i'll scan in the photos where they shot us from the front.
these crazy posers! hehehehehehe... i laffed so much i was aching...they made my life a JOY! hehehe.... or rather, a comedy! hehee...
we tried to be footballers, half-ballerina, lepakers... just being normal crazy selves.. hehehe..
in honor of Steven... in the beginning there was the duck, they waddle into the duck church, and read the duck bible... hehehehe.....upon reaching the current generation, the evolution happened and they turned into flying ducks.... oh, wait a min, flying christians? hehehe....opps.. cant see ina, the egg.. too dark plus she was wearing dark sweater.
yes, girls, i told steven about this! dun be surprise if he drama in front of u the next time u come to church...
some sane people, some epilepsy people! hehehehehe.... united we epileptic! ehhehewe had to ask a passerby to shoot one of the pileptic photo and he was laffing so hard at us that the picture didnt turn out well. he must be wondering where these crazy ppl came from!
the Most Epileptic Looking Award goes to.............. Ciyeng! look at the before and after... hehehehe...changed of human nature! hehehe...
Guess whose birthdays?? eeehehhe... the whole of starbucks saw them standing on the chair.we: happy birthday to..
sewei & ina: you...
we: happy birthday to..
sewei & ina: you...
we: happy birthday to..
sewei & ina: ME!
Congratulations. we managed to tell everyone at Starbucks, Genting, that it's YOUR birthday! hehehe..
this is one of the most meaningful time as we share and pray and minister to one another. I think Judy weren't yawning... just deep in thots for a word, perhaps?? or..........i hope some friendships were built, tho sad to say, some went to level 4 in this time, but overall, it was such a wonderful time! ehhehehe.... i like it!
Princess PC - part 1 & part 2
26 - 27 February, some of us (always called as 'girl') wanted to treat PC a trip and so we checked in at the Cyberview Lodge Resort at Cyberjaya, excited to go for the SPA experience but was GREATLY disappointed as they were FULLY BOOKED THE WHOLE WEEKEND! and to think that the spa prices were high!
so we went on to plan B where she crowned herself Princess PC the weekend and we gets to do the DIY Spa on her! hehehehe.... su scrubbed her, me related to the black mask, ah foong full-body massage and even end with elaine painting our nails! ehehhee... we all agreed that Ah Foong got the touch to start a salon! heeheh...
we even had our own DIY banana split! hehehe.. thanks to Charlene! too bad lisa had to leave early for teaching class.....
9 - 11th April, PC took us ( 'girls') to Frasers' Hill.
this time, the whole gang went. it was good fun. we bunked in together, chatting, watching in-house cinematic movie and ate and ate and ate.... hehehhe.... you won't believe the amount of food we brought (even pastor was laffing at us!) for just a two nite stay. eehehehehe...
the strawberry farm was closed. the owner went away... so we just walked around, have afternoon tea with scones and lisa shared such an inspiring story! we prayed for one another after that.
so we went on to plan B where she crowned herself Princess PC the weekend and we gets to do the DIY Spa on her! hehehehe.... su scrubbed her, me related to the black mask, ah foong full-body massage and even end with elaine painting our nails! ehehhee... we all agreed that Ah Foong got the touch to start a salon! heeheh...
we even had our own DIY banana split! hehehe.. thanks to Charlene! too bad lisa had to leave early for teaching class.....
9 - 11th April, PC took us ( 'girls') to Frasers' Hill.this time, the whole gang went. it was good fun. we bunked in together, chatting, watching in-house cinematic movie and ate and ate and ate.... hehehhe.... you won't believe the amount of food we brought (even pastor was laffing at us!) for just a two nite stay. eehehehehe...
the strawberry farm was closed. the owner went away... so we just walked around, have afternoon tea with scones and lisa shared such an inspiring story! we prayed for one another after that.
there's got to be more to life...
I want to believe that there is more to life! there's got to be!
Life can't be just sleep like a log, work like dog, have all the fun in the world and die. then, there's no meaning in this process call 'life'. then might as well not begin cos there's no closure, just period!
that's why the dance theme was 'more to life'. i didnt do it cos i suka-suka.. i prayed about it, think about it, ponder about it and came to conviction of this message. i want to tell everyone that's there that there is more to your and my life! there's got to be more that what the MTV is saying. If that is all there is to life, then it's quite a stupid, meaningless 'life'. But thank God, there IS more.. there is more.. there is God, there's a mission, there's a purpose, there's a reason...
Don't just sit there! Go find your mission else that would be your lifetime story: BORED TO DEATH!
I don't wan! I don't wan! I cant just exist meaningless! No! No!
I hope the dance touches your life as much as it did to mine. Reminding us all, finding and fulfilling our purpose in life.
to all the dancers in this project, a big thanks and hugs to you all! You've obeyed God and took one step of faith and obedience to reveal God's message to His people. You've found something more in your life...
think we are serious? think again! hehehe.... =)
Oh, one thing i must share!
Right before the performance, while waiting beside the stage, (due to lack of warmup + stretching), i pulled a tendon on my right thigh! It was so painful i knew i cant go on stage with it and keep a smiley face + dance!
So i quickly ask Nai Lin to pray for me. She laid hands on me and prayed.
5 mins later, the pain was gone! Praise God! wooo hoooo....
Talk about Instant Healing! =)
You should try it next time.
Life can't be just sleep like a log, work like dog, have all the fun in the world and die. then, there's no meaning in this process call 'life'. then might as well not begin cos there's no closure, just period!
that's why the dance theme was 'more to life'. i didnt do it cos i suka-suka.. i prayed about it, think about it, ponder about it and came to conviction of this message. i want to tell everyone that's there that there is more to your and my life! there's got to be more that what the MTV is saying. If that is all there is to life, then it's quite a stupid, meaningless 'life'. But thank God, there IS more.. there is more.. there is God, there's a mission, there's a purpose, there's a reason...
Don't just sit there! Go find your mission else that would be your lifetime story: BORED TO DEATH!
I don't wan! I don't wan! I cant just exist meaningless! No! No!
I hope the dance touches your life as much as it did to mine. Reminding us all, finding and fulfilling our purpose in life.
to all the dancers in this project, a big thanks and hugs to you all! You've obeyed God and took one step of faith and obedience to reveal God's message to His people. You've found something more in your life...
think we are serious? think again! hehehe.... =)
Oh, one thing i must share!
Right before the performance, while waiting beside the stage, (due to lack of warmup + stretching), i pulled a tendon on my right thigh! It was so painful i knew i cant go on stage with it and keep a smiley face + dance!
So i quickly ask Nai Lin to pray for me. She laid hands on me and prayed.
5 mins later, the pain was gone! Praise God! wooo hoooo....
Talk about Instant Healing! =)
You should try it next time.
F-08-02
That is my new aprtment!!! wooo hoooo.... oh my goodness! my very own apartment! it's my name! ehehhe..
super excited and super scared at the same time! hehe..
hmm.. was checking out aprtments and felt real easy with this unit and also the owner was kinda nice and all but I was hoping that I can get the aprt at a reasonable price.. i've been praying for God's guidance and one morning, i remember calculating and writing down this figure RM125ooo. So, when the owner ask me how much am i offering, i just pluck this figure from the back of my memory, thinking she'ld probably increase the amount, cos that's what everyone would do.
to my great surprise, she said yes!! wow!! i was quite shock! Praise God! wow!! praise God! again! ehehe..
so i went to put deposit and all, so i'm on my way to be a proud owner of F0802... wat a nice number.. heheh... currently, everything about this aprtment seems nice....... EXCEPT... the COST!
puching calculator, day and nite! legal documentations and lawyer cost about RM5k! this is burning a big hole in my pocket! not to mention the new furnitures and all. Am decided to second-hand-sell-it-ALL... cos everything's old and been with me since my previous house.. like more than 10 years liow.. some's leaking - wear and tear and such... been prowling furniture malls all week... ikea seems a good choice.
from major stuffs like modifying the kitchen, a new door for the master bedroom (previous tenant smashed it), grille the windows, living room couch, tv cabinet, water filter, beds, wardrobes, to minor stuffs like toilet rack, bookcases, microwave, water boiler, curtains and such, everything speaks loud and coming from my own wallet. 95% of the cost will be bore my me lor since i'm the one supporting my family, this is really the time i envy ppl with silver spoon.... sigh.. but good thing got GOD! else i also dunno how to go thru all these. sure stressed till crazy in the head! welcome to the world of independent-hood/ness and such.
oh well, will update u when i really shift in...
super excited and super scared at the same time! hehe..
hmm.. was checking out aprtments and felt real easy with this unit and also the owner was kinda nice and all but I was hoping that I can get the aprt at a reasonable price.. i've been praying for God's guidance and one morning, i remember calculating and writing down this figure RM125ooo. So, when the owner ask me how much am i offering, i just pluck this figure from the back of my memory, thinking she'ld probably increase the amount, cos that's what everyone would do.
to my great surprise, she said yes!! wow!! i was quite shock! Praise God! wow!! praise God! again! ehehe..
so i went to put deposit and all, so i'm on my way to be a proud owner of F0802... wat a nice number.. heheh... currently, everything about this aprtment seems nice....... EXCEPT... the COST!
puching calculator, day and nite! legal documentations and lawyer cost about RM5k! this is burning a big hole in my pocket! not to mention the new furnitures and all. Am decided to second-hand-sell-it-ALL... cos everything's old and been with me since my previous house.. like more than 10 years liow.. some's leaking - wear and tear and such... been prowling furniture malls all week... ikea seems a good choice.
from major stuffs like modifying the kitchen, a new door for the master bedroom (previous tenant smashed it), grille the windows, living room couch, tv cabinet, water filter, beds, wardrobes, to minor stuffs like toilet rack, bookcases, microwave, water boiler, curtains and such, everything speaks loud and coming from my own wallet. 95% of the cost will be bore my me lor since i'm the one supporting my family, this is really the time i envy ppl with silver spoon.... sigh.. but good thing got GOD! else i also dunno how to go thru all these. sure stressed till crazy in the head! welcome to the world of independent-hood/ness and such.
oh well, will update u when i really shift in...
