I'm not a good friend.

Recently, I've gotten quite a few slap on my face from some 'friends' that would like to tell me the 'truth' about me in their 'own opinion'. Digging up incidents from the pasts, pushing me to accept their opinions as the correct interpretation of things from their point of view and not giving me the chance to explain myself cos that is consider as me being 'defensive'. But then, am i to accept everything that other ppl say without explaining it from my point of view of the whole scenario?

I don't know what makes 'friend(s)' think that they can have a session of slapping me with 'what they feel i do wrong'. Did I do that to you? Did I pick a time to tell you all your 'bad habits' and tell you how 'to live your life' and how you also 'hurt me'? No. I dont. I accept you as you are with your bad habit and all but then you dont accept me as I am? Sure. I am the one that need to change and the one that is wrong. You have no wrong and no bad habit to change.

Oh, and by the way, according to my conscience, I've tried to change myself and my habits and my attitude in the past two years. Did you see that? Of course not, right. You only see where I am wrong and where I should change to suit you, not offend you and be the kind of friend you want. But I've to accept you in the way you want to live, they way u felt you've 'sacrificed' and not be offended just because I should be the epitome of 'good friend' to you but not you to me. great plan!

thanks but no thanks for asking me to sit down and listen to you in piling a mountain of your critics, comments, opinion and thoughts in my already drowning situation from another 'friend' that thinks I deserve it too. that does not encourage you to be a better friend to me too. i need 'fire extinguishers' and encouragers that tell me i can pull through it, i can change, i can bite the bullet and make the best out of things, i can do better and not 'i told you so, you deserved it because you are a messed up tyrant. and you will not survive'. push me off the cliff when im struggling at the edge just cos you think you should tell me the 'truth' like the 'good friend' you are 'supposed to be'. ?! on one hand tell me to share with u my down times but then take the moment to push me off the cliff?!

sigh... i give up, man. just cos i'm the christian, the 'leader' (i've resigned), the church staff, your friend, i'm supposed to be one to take your critics humbly (accept the sentence without the trial on my side of the story), apologise just cos u think i offends you (even though i forgave and forget about those times you offended me and didnt insist on an apology from u), change myself to suit u (even though i accept you the way you are but u cant accept me the way i am), must take in your opinion and not say anything (cos now i'm being called defensive).

yes. I'm not a good friend to you. ... but neither are you to me. =P