what i feel i have the grace for...

in the past few years, i felt i have certain grace in seeing fruits in certain areas. here are somewhat what i discovered...

* i always have opportunities to tok to large group of ppl. somehow or rather whenever it's my turn to speak or share, there happens to be alot of ppl instead of the usual small crowd. especially when sharing testimonies. or leading office devotion!

* i have the graces in prayer. somehow or rather i felt God hears me - maybe i'm in the interceeding kind of thing... i know i see my prayers answered - in God's own way.

* i often see visions - i'm sure u might already heard some of them - the artiste got saved, the 'how great is our god' vision, the latest one was when i was praying for wf, i saw a lift. her prayers are like pressing for lift, it's already at work even though it havent reached your floor yet...

* i'm not sure but i think i can tell stories - just now, ny fetched me back and i was telling her the dance team stories and she as laffing all the way - she was as quiet as me during dinner where the vocal ppl were all chatting and joking away. i felt we can connect... more importantly is that God told it to me one day while i was blowing my hair dry... =)

* i feel i have a knack for making worshippers out of christians performers.. cant stand em if they are not!

* i tink i can share vision well - that's how i rallied nl, vitz - they say they cant see it but they follow me cos i see it wor... does that count? haha..

^ i'm praying for grace n favor to be with the rich, the famous and the influential - because i felt i wanna reach them but i don't have anything they will want to be with me so i pray for favor in this area...


if u don't think u're of any good, learn to discover yourself and observe yourselves... u surely have certain favor in your life that God put it there.

i screamed at my dancers!!!!!!

i lost myself and screamed at the dancers just now. =(

we are first and foremost worshippers of this Almighty God.
If we lose this most important element then we would be doing in vain.

the way we call upon the name of Jesus reflects the way we declare about Him.
the song is like a prophetic call upon the name of God! How can it be weak and soft and 'forgotten' halfway thru the steps? If this is the way we treat the Presence of God then we are putting God's name to lightness.
i apologise for scolding them but i don't apologise for honoring God's Presence.

This God is Almighty, is my Banner, my Provider, the one that BLESS me abundantly, He picked me up from the dump and turned my life around, He gave me all that i have now and He is a God of impossibilities.
He is not weak at all. i can't let His name be put lightly! there is power, miracle, strength and goodness in the NAME OF JESUS! which part sound weak to u? argh!!! don't u see it??!! it so frustrates me!

the song that we are dancing to, says 'i believe', 'i will sing of all you've done for me'!
r my dancers convinced? do they really believe? have they encountered God before? then how can this be?
'in all of our ways we give him praise' - praise him in our dance, our moves, our spirit, our shouting of his name! ajo! come on lah!
don't force me to whack u lah, please! =(

THE ANTHEM:

BRIDGE 1:
JE---------SUS

I WILL SING FOR ALL YOU’VE DONE
I WILL SING FOR ALL YOU’VE DONE

PRE-CHORUS:
THIS IS OUR SONG OUR ANTHEM TO YOU
THE ANTHEM OF THE FREE

CHORUS:
I BELIEVE (4X)

BRIDGE 2:
IN ALL OF OUR WAYS
WE GIVE HIM OUR PRAISE
TOGETHER AS ONE
WE LIFT THE NAME OF JESUS

Charlene asked me what is it that makes me angry. Conclusion of the matter is this:

i was burning because the supposedly 'worshippers' dancers take the name of Jesus lightly and do not give Him the honor and respect due Him!

Got it now?!

Pre-Service Prayer 210407: Jacob's Dream at Bethel

Jacob's Dream at Bethel

10 Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Haran. 11 When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. 12 He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. 13 There above it stood the LORD, and he said: "I am the LORD, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. 14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it." 17 He was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven."

Read the passage.

1.
Is this or is this not the House of God? Then, surely this could be the Gate of Heaven!
You are standing at the gate of heaven!!
You know what does this 'gate' means? This Gate = access to God, an opening, a way...
Tonight as you stand at this gate, you have access to this Almighty God.
Jacob's response was that 'He was not aware of it!!" But you are.
You know you are standing at this gate.
What would you say to Him? What do you want from Him? You have a need? A desire? A struggle? You need a way out? You need someone who can help you out? Well, you are at the right place. You are standing at the gate of heaven, standing before the Almighty God.
Think for a moment. Pair up 2 by 2. Share your thoughts. Pray for yourself as the other person stand in agreement with you.

2.
We are standing before the Presence of God. Let's commit and pray for His words to be revealed to us tonight. Let His words be real and give us answers to questions we have in our mind.
Let's pray for one another to be ministered by His Presence and His Words tonight. Let's pray for a fruitful upcoming week!

3.
What your response is the God that's before you, i don't know. But what His response to you, can be found in verse 13 that you've read.
He say He'll bless you, He'll be with you. He will watch over you wherever you go. He will not leave you until he had done what He promised you.
Doesn't that sound like a good God? Do you agree?
Come on, let's give Him the loudest praise Him we can! Let's tell him you love Him.

PC's Comment:

I think u did great! V confident n bold.. Sure of wat u wanna lead d ppl in2. U have progressed. haha.. from can't utter a single word 2 sayin so much. wel done.

Guess i did ok after all .. *wink.

contending for my rod to bud... let it be align to your will...

as i was driving to work, i was thinking in my mind...

why cant i make things simple in my life?
why not live like everyone else. just be normal.
why must i contend to be different?
why must i soak every decision in prayer before i decide to move?
why must i be at the mercy of God whether he open the door of opportunity for me or not?
just live like everyone else. just be an 'everybody else' - born - live - die.
is it cos i'm not being contented?

but...
when as i watch the team did a final run through for the dance who am i before snl, i cried... tears welled up in my eyes as i felt God's presence before the dance. last year, we had a next level with more2life+anf where we tell message with dance instead of song for dance so we incorporated multimedia, 2 songs and scriptures and sharing to tell a message of God. but this year, we breakthrough that into a dance that ministers to ppl - that draws ppl to worship God... i was so proud of the team. i am so proud of my team. =)to see this team turnaround is one of the 'achievements' in my life. dance ministry used to be a performance ministry - when there's an event, there's a dance performance, we gather ppl and start practicing for the performance. after perform, that's it. no class no existence.
but now, there's a committed team - we dance together, pray together, cry together and share lives and reach lives together.
but now, there are classes - outreach class as an extension of church to the community, kids class as an extension to reaching children, core class that helps the ppl with a dance talent to improve and to build each other. so many ppl come to our classes - of course our next level is to bridge them... which we need to improve - one step at a time...

but...
how many of you gets messages like this...?
here i post two for you to have an idea but u can see more at my comments at this post ("...did i manage to bring you the light of Hope?...") Nov 06. Is your life worth living?

i post this note he gave me on my wall with the other notes i cherished to remind myself not to give up on him...

how many of you gets a chance to touch these people's lives? thoughts? whack them and still be partners in a dream together?i'm touched and thank god unceasingly when i see them walk in freedom, in their dreams. fulfilled and living for the better.

it's not because of what i do but because of the prayers i soak in... although many times ppl did not acknowledge i did something in their lives but to know that i tried makes me able to sleep sound at night. i rather this than having sleepless night of what i did not do that lose them to the schemes of the enemies...what would u choose to do? which would you prefer?? not much of a choice right?
but if u see those around you slipping and u have no feeling at all, i think all the more u need to pray that you hearts are not callous to mercy........

Quotes:
A man is no bigger than his prayer life.
Whenever God determines to do a great work, He first sets His people to pray.
Man is never so tall as when he kneels before God - never so great as when he humbles himself before God. and the man who kneels to God can stand up to anything.
The angel fetched Peter out of prison but it was prayer that fetched the angel.
More things are wrought by prayer than this world of dreams of.

EMBRACING HIS PERSON, ENJOYING HIS PRESENCE.

One At A Time...

one at a time.

how to disciple 10 girls + follow up many at the same time? one at a time.
how to run + over see multiple ministry at the same time? one at a time.
how to rally + raise leaders in the ministries to carry on the work? one at a time.
how to make a difference not just in those i wanna raise but also in the ppl in the team as well? plus their parents too! hhaa... one at a time.
how to remember + do all that i need to do? one at a time.
how to answer so many questions from people? one at a time
having the gift of asking questions? one at a time

there's no secret to this. there's no easier way to do it. just do one at a time.
the problem only comes when u combine all the 'one at a time' from above, i add up to seven 'one' at a time lor! hahaha... i think after all these years, my maths is still so bad! haha... no wonder i'm always tired.

just share some of the 'purposeful one at a time' i did...

*with ppl: -

+ talk to judy
+ talk to rach t
+ talk to soph k
+ be the k family's book critique (i got 3 books to read thru to see if it's suitable foer her kids... haha... finished 2 liow)
+ rally marrielle
+ rally pri
+ make sure vitz is ok with his training on sun morning
+ play with ryan boy =)
+ small chat with my mom
+ send dance vcd to baobao in cheena
+ dinner meetup with pc, haoying after snl
+ evaluate hao ying and send it to metro ministries
+ talk to maril
+ rally sam
+ talk to jocelyn
+ remember text all the ppl on their bdae
+ remember to text boeyY on his wedding day!
+ talk to kat
+ talk to ts and offer her my place to stay for 2.5 months
+ stay awake for a few minutes to tok to foong as she come home
+ read other ppl's blog to remember about them

*with ministry:-
+ run yof partay for the 3 heads' bdae so that the teachers and teens can get to know their heads (yof leaders - artie, foongfoong, haoying)!

+ plan to migrate from ms ppt to easy worship for the whole projection team

+ plan for what to do for pre-service prayer this snl

+ committee for paradive 2007!!

+ dance plans & practices for sold out - sat n sun
+ make sure i don't forget to make the flag
+ check on rach k why no show for practice
+ spend time with 9|in on monday - movie & meet potential dancer-'hire-r'
+ share with yc on my thots about dance classes
+ look out for next generation dance leaders, choreographers

*with office:-
+ make sure myles & joyce's super urgent super expensive super far visa is made in one day and returned to their hands that nite itself after my dance class
+ make sure server is fixed
+ plan website team - sunday appreciation lunch at next stop to rally them
+ make sure the point is out out out out!
+ make sure caroly got things to work on in the office
+ train yc to take over office
+ sold out's stuffs
+ plans for people's trips - dubai, sydney, melbourne, new zealand, manila, china
+ too many to list down

*for myself:-
+ have mandarin class with laoshi mei san
+ have hanguk class with sensangnim choran
+ go for dance class
+ disc with pc on sunday evening - 7:30pm
+ apply kwsp to cover home loan.
+ blog! hahah...
+ plan for sydney trip
+ dream on my dreams...
+ pray for all those mentioned and pray summore. pray until something happens
+ keep my sanity

*going to do:
+ rally j-na - when?
+ rally ed - when?
+ have creative design class with teacher max on friday 6pm
+ rally artie - sunday morning breakfast chat
+ find time to meet timy - when?

*plans i've tot of doing but scrapped the idea:
+ lepak time/day trip with dancers on may 1
+ scold ppl.. ahhaha...


i think sometimes i sendiri kenakan sendiri - why must i put it upon myself to do these?

life is a sum of all my decisions. what am i doing matters. it matters to those who needed me to function in the different facets...
what about you?
living life or rotting in life? =)

Why didnt i dance 'who am i'?

On Apr 7 & 8 2007, we did a dance for easter weekend.
the dancers involved were Nai Lin, Vitto, Doreen and Yean Ching.
We edited some clips from 'the passion of the christ' with the chorus of 'we are the reason' and then followed by casting crown's song 'who am i'. this is where they dance. a slow song with a heavy beat - lyrical hiphop! =)

over the weekend, i kept answering these questions over and over again... "sharon, how come you didnt dance?" or "Sharon, why weren't you in the dance?".... hahaa...

i wasn't annoyed. it's just that i don't know how to answer.
so, my respond ranges from 'just smiling' to 'they needed only 4 people' to 'go ask nailin' =)
but here, let me share 2 memorable answers that other people thought of me...

the first one, since this is not a favorable answer, let's not mention name here... =)
she thinks that i did not dance because...'i thought your passion is to manage the team and not to dance...'
i was kinda shocked when i heard that answer actually. not sure to be offended or to laugh... more like bewildered and made confused. haha...
#1, dance IS my passion. dance makes me feel like i'm in the presence of god. dancing makes me happy. i remember many of my most stressed times, i will close my eyes, on the worship cd and just move...
#2, i don't remember ever saying that i want to manage. in fact, i rejected the idea so many times when kel or kaz brought it up cos i really DON'T WANT to manage.
#3, she's supposedly someone close to me... hahhaa...

the second memorable answer is favorable so let's mention name here... =)
on the tuesday office devotion after the performance weekend, this time, it was pastor who popped the question, "sharon, how come you weren't in the dance" he asked with a smile...
again i was caught whether to give the long version or the short version answer.
before i could start, PC (3 cheers to her!) spoke. "the dance is in pair and there was 5 people so she sacrificed herself so that the others get a chance to dance." just like that she blurted it out to the whole gang that was in pastor's room. wow...
i felt like i was redeemed. someone believed in me, came to my rescue and set me on the honor seat. i was moved to tears literally.
PC, how come you always know the right thing to do at the right time? how come you can just know it? i felt like there was still one person who know me enough to defend me... i think i just love you a little bit more now! hahaha...

here's the long version explanation if you must know.
actually,
#1, i was really busy in the office and i missed many practices.
#2, although i tried to catch up, i also don't want to make it as though, 'just because i'm the dance leader, therefore i'm definitely in the dance' even though i missed practices.
#3, on top of that, one my girl say that i tell story better than i dance and that was like a small discouragement to my already low-self-esteem at the point of life... i felt like i wasn't good enough.
#4, on the day of choosing dancers (monday) i missed the practice because i chose to take the time to work on the sales account that i owed pastor for so many months and i felt guilty if i take the time to dance and not finish what i owe pastor... that of course irked nai lin.. haha.. but she so graciously forgave me ;)
#5, the other 2 dancers really worked so hard at every practice that i felt they deserve more than a chance at it... i can't be bias because i lead.
#6, i felt inadequate and not good enough.. but this was clarified with something Nai Lin said that i cant reveal here... ahaha...

of course, after giving up the chance to dance, i felt so sad that my heart cries inside...
many times during the practices (although i'm not dancing, i need to manage them in the room), i had to walk out of the room when i can't bear the pain of seeing dance and not dancing - just to calm myself before i enter the room again in the right spirit to lead the team... that's why it so vexed me when they were not in the right spirit because they get a chance to tell the world to worship God and yet they are NOT making it a glorious testimony - of course i [whacked/challenged/prayed with/speak to] them for real but eventually we were all in the same spirit and same heart to do it! and in one accord we went all out for it...

i'm indeed happy for them. they are still my team, they are still my best-mates, my friends and my comrades. even if i didn't do the dance, they are still my best-partners in this dream. i still feel so proud of them. especially when pc (for the first time) say that they were together and they were really worshipping in the dance, i felt i burst with pride! Alright!! come on, team! we did it! we all did it together as a team. =)

i hope that we can bring this message to many other places. maybe to penang in oct?? hehehe...

i share this here simply to tell you that because we are all in Christ therefore the ending is a beautiful picture. no one is bitter, no offenses, even though the journey was not smooth yet we are still in one accord.
this right here, is a testimony of being Christians, walking in according to the bible.... a beautiful picture we painted... in christ we are able. look at the picture, we are all laughing together on the performance morning because we are in one accord.. hehehe...

it's not easy building a team, it takes grace. i thank God for being the great god that did it through us.
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

indeed we are just flowers that are quickly fading, yet the 1 accord dancers is going to do that which we proclaim... we don't just dance the dance, we live the dance...

hope you were ministered by the dance. i surely saw it in ours.

What will you do?

Chris Evans, Hiroyuki Sanada, Cliff Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, Benedict Wong, Rose Byrne and Cillian Murphy. The only one missing is Troy Garity.

Went to watch Sunshine at 2:30pm with Nai Lin. It's either this or The Reaping and i definitely not going to watch horror so Sunshine it is....

In the movie, the team's mission is to set the bomb at the centre of the sun so that it will 're-burn' the sun on fire cos the sun is losing it's heat and earth is in winter all the time. But things always go wrong somehow or rather...

one of the scene, the team pushed the decision to capa whether to stop by the icarus 1 or not and after capa made the decision based on what he felt was best. then it turned out that it was unnecessary, the team blamed it on him and Mace even say Trey's blo0d is on Capa's hands.... i felt that's so unfair to blame him. we need to take responsibilities as team and life and death decisions need to be handle as a team - it should not create division or blame amongst the team members. stay as a team!

then another problem came up. the 'Garden' burned up and there was not enough oxygen for everyone to reach the sun lest returning from the sun but there was only enough oxygen for 3 people to reach the sun and complete the mission and at that time they needed to have one less people on board...

the team held a meeting as to whether to 'eliminate' Trey or not. They say they would only do it if it's an unanimous vote to 'eliminate' him. Everyone say yes, except Cassie. But in the end she relented also. But of course they found Trey already dead at the 'Earth Room'.

After the movie, i was thinking about it. I even asked Nai Lin what would she do if she's in the meeting... the question is the life of one against saving the whole of mankind. would you eliminate your team mate? Would you do that?? would you really do that?? and i'm not talking about just choosing who to play in the basketball team and who don't get to play in a game. this is life we are talking about. what would you do?

I thought about what i would do and i told Nai Lin this...
I would hold a meeting with all the teammates, explain the situation of lack of oxygen and who wants to be the hero and sacrifice himself/herself. it would be the person's choice to take his/her life because we are NOT going to kill one another because we are team mates.

if nobody wants to do it, then as the team leader, i would do it. my blood is on my own hands and if they ever gets a chance to go back to earth, they will not regret and live in blood-guilt for the rest of their lives.
if i'm needed for the mission, then i will write down all the protocol and transfer the knowledge of my task to someone else so that they can do on my behalf. i don't want my members to feel like a murderer for the rest of their lives. if i need to die to save the team then i will do it myself so that the rest of the people can move on and live on.

BUT I WILL ASK FOR ONE LAST WISH.... to die easy without pain. put to sleep. or CO2. as long as not painful and suffer for the death.

it's not meant to be a heroic act but just hope that it's the right decision for the best of everyone.

What would you do?
like Harvey? the captain that rather save his own life than that of capa? (Capa was the one needed to set the bomb)
like Dr. Searle? choose to be left behind so that he can give the 3 other ppl a chance to get back to the ship?
like Pinbacker? because of his own beliefs, he sacrificed the entire crew and everybody else that comes in his way? kill them all?

maybe you need to think of it and make a resolve of what is your stand... please do make the RIGHT decision.

If you have any thoughts, please comment on what will you do... =)

Learn to Forgive!