I get lots of angpow this year (as usual). Got loads of $$$??? yeah rite! i wish!
Before CNY, i've to give money to my parents, buy stuffs for the pai nian, spend money on new year's clothes, and all those... after balancing the account, it's almost back to square one.
CNY has not always happy times (for me) since granny passed away. when she's alive, everyone respected her and learn to live in harmony. since granny's not around, the family as kind of spread away. some still keep together but others were excluded. as i sat there, i felt like i was in stranger land. i felt as though i thicken my skin to be invisibly there when all these years i thot i was part the family. i didnt have an answer to comfort myself. i cried.
countless times, i spoke to many, encouraging them to go on but when i had to face my own emotions, i've gotta self-govern myself to be the example. it was not the easiest thing to do. i kept the tears inside until i drove alone and spill it out to God and crying to him. i felt like the uninvited unwanted guests hanging around..
it is one of the most painful cny for me. but... life gotta move on and not dwell in our emotions.
so, i dropped it off and went to join the gang to surprise steven at 10pm eve of his bday. it was fun... we stood outside his house in a group, as though carolling, and sang happy birthday. it took him a while to realise and finally open the door for us. hehehhee.... SURPRISE SURPRISE!
I really wanna honor Steven for he really indeed is a good colleague, leader, brother all these years. Working with him, i've watched him throughout the years. He's consistent, he loves people, he thinks for others and most of all, he always, always do the extra mile for his leaders, for pastor, pc and even the zone supervisors. he always go a little more than he needs to, to serve them. i really respect and honor him for this! A really trustable man of God.
Happy birthday, Steven! U r the best! heheheh....
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2 comments:
i can relate to your family situation. my grandmother was also the glue which kept my family together. during her illness, some cracks appeared between my father's siblings and my family. there were lots of personal attacks in the midst of the grief and anticipation of my grandmother's death. now that she's gone, i feel like the cracks never really healed. i'm just glad that it hasn't affected my relationship with my cousins. but chinese new year, and every other festival for that matter, will never be the same without my grandmother around.
me, too. But seeing you can overcome it, it's really an encouragement for others who are facing the same thing.
God never wasted anything in our lives, so look at your troubles as something or perhaps a manual to help people to get out of it, that shows your life is purposefull, coz even your troubles help =)
n You're the BEST!!!!!!!!!
From me,
bugging you.....
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