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OMG Facts!
"
It is impossible to commit suicide by holding your breath.
Eventually you have a reflex or a deep exhalation to get stagnant gasses out of your lungs such as carbon monoxide and nitrogen. Even if you can force yourself to overcome this reflex you would eventaully pass out from lack of oxygen to your brain. After passing out, your mth would open and your lungs would involuntarily begin to function again.
"
Not that i'm promoting suicide but just another amazing creation of God that works in such a unique thoughfult to the detail way that we would never thought of but He did. Just for you and me....
"Dysania is the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning" hahah.... a word that happens to me almost every day!!
Diaries of the...
7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!
7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!
THE CAT'S DIARY:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.
Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair - must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good kitty cat I was.
This is not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait.
It's only a matter of time.
hahahaha....
JOB AVAILABLE? - How to Recruit the Right Person for the Job
Put about 100 bricks in no particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back afer 6 hours and then analyse the situation.
If they are counting bricks,
put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them,
put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks,
put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order,
put them in planning.
if they ae throwing the bricks at each other,
put them in operations.
If they are sleeping,
put them in reception.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces,
put them in information technology.
If thet are sitting idle,
put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved,
put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day,
put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window,
put them in strategic planning.
And last but not least,
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved,
congratulate them and out them in the top management!
=)