Before I start, why don’t we watch a video… I’m sure you know this movie…
Movie: What girls do when they fall in love…
One of the biggest changes in emotions is in our feelings to the opposite sex. You will come to a time in your life that you are attracted to the guys and you want to look good in front of them.
You want a relationship and that’s normal. But, we all should want only healthy relationships.
You’ve watched Princess Diaries, she’s also having this ‘feelings’ to the boy, thinking about him and wanting to be with him… but we all seen the ending that the boy only wanted to use her and you saw how sad she was later on…
So, how to handle emotions and relate healthily with the opposite sex?
- Every guy wants to find his beauty; every girl wants to be that beauty
- Every guy seeks out adventure; every girl wants to be swept up in that adventure
- Both hearts cry out for intimacy (=closer friendship)
- But, the danger is if we don’t understand ourselves and don’t understand what relationships are for, then we will end up in unhealthy relationships because we end up looking for beauty, intimacy or even adventure in all the wrong places.
So, it’s important to start right. The place to start is in yourself. First, learn to love and appreciate yourself then you will be able to learn to love others…
- How you feel, think and react is different (it’s ok, don’t need to compare)
- QUESTION: So, tell me what is one thing you like about yourself?
- Since you are so unique and today is your special day, I must celebrate with you. This is to tell you that you are pretty like the ROSES…
- You can choose to live your life to the best you can and maximize your potential and capabilities
- Now, I say live your life to your best potential but I don’t mean in a wild way and with not control or behind your parents back – that’s not living to your best potential – that’s call risky lifestyle and even dangerous.
- You may think parents are putting boundaries on you but it’s good for you. Everything needs to have boundary to be good for them. To take sweets around, you need a box to put them in it. Can you imagine if there are NO boundaries? What would others do to you? What would you do to others?? Hmm… there needs to be boundary!
- It’s how you see it and how you make to be. If you think a box of sweets is plain, it’s mar plain lor – but if you make it CUTE, then it’s cute lor!
- You are like a rose that’s blooming. As the rose bloom, it faces changes too, they learn to open up their petals.
- But blooming time is not forever. It’s only for a season. For a rose, it could be a few days to a week, but for you, it would be the next 10 years or so, but time does flies. When I was 13, I also thought I still have a long time coming but so fast, now I’m 27! It’s still my best time because I make the most of it. But don’t waste your best time in life.
- But often times we make wrong decisions because we wanted to try out…
- If I were to say that gals are like roses and a blooming one, then I would say risky lifestyle is like this (peel off the rose)
- Every time we are involved in risky lifestyle or unhealthy relationships, we are actually giving parts of ourselves away.
- What are risky behaviors? Like not eat at all for diet, puking food that you’d ate, cutting ourselves, or even in unhealthy relationships like pre-marital sex. (peeling off)
- Sex is not just a physical intimacy with another person but that which involves your whole person which is your emotions, mental and all in.
- Each time we give ourselves away – whether emotionally or physically – instead of blooming like a rose, without us knowing it, we are actually ruining it.
- Look, after a few times, it still look ok right? Still quite pretty like a rose… still nobody knows it’s being peeled off.
- But if we continue on like this, do you think there would still be a pretty rose left? (keep peeling).
- One of the biggest reasons that made gals involve in unhealthy relationships is in storybooks… especially romance story books…
- As you read, you imagine yourself as the heroine, the one that the hero, the man that every woman wants, but he only wants you, and he come and sweep you off your feet into an adventure, and you fall heads over heels in love with him… and live happily ever after… (sigh)!
- You just read only mar… you didn’t do it… so you’re still safe from risky lifestyle… right?
- But then, you do it in your mind! The more you read, the more you fantasize to be heroine and the more you fantasize, the more you want to find your hero in your life… that’s when you take risk in unhealthy relationships because you want to start on your adventure! But it might not be the right person or the right time or the right adventure – just like princess diaries.
- Today, I want to tell you that you cannot give sex to get love. Sex is not a game. It’s an intimate act that requires maturity (which you are only began to discover, so not counted) and commitment of marriage. Without the boundary of marriage, you are trying to take sweets without the box – you either ruin the sweet, make it dirty or drop it, you wont be able to keep it for long.
- Not to mention pre-marital sex has consequences – like pregnancy and diseases. And 90% of these diseases are incurable. Do you like being sick? Can you imagine being sick all life long? Can you imagine this rose with yellow dots all over? Still pretty?
- I can tell you don’t read those books that cause your mind to be unhealthy but I can’t force you to do it. I can’t put cctv all around you. Plus I won’t. I’m just telling it to you today about the pros and the cons, you need to learn to make your own decisions and then you will live like a rose.
- Unhealthy books can cause you to fantasize and encourage you to have intimacy at unhealthy relationships but it will not help you to bloom prettily as a rose. But the more you peel the lesser is the rose.
- Then, finally when you meet your MR. RIGHT, the real one that will live happily ever after with and he wants to marry you…. by then, you only have this much left to give to him. Is this your best? Or you want to keep yourself to be the best rose when you meet your hero in your life?
- If you want to keep yourself as the best rose, then you need to learn to put a boundary on yourself from unhealthy books, unhealthy acts, and unhealthy relationships. I hope you will choose to live as your best as the prettiest rose.
- The rose is in your hands now. Whether it blooms to its most beautiful time or it’s being peeled off bits by bits before it’s time, it’s how you live…
